I'm Yours
by HopelessFire
Summary: How Katniss and Peeta grew together and overcome the obstacles life throws at them. Post Mockingjay - Pre Epiloge I'm not great at summaries, It's better inside. Promise. Lemons and Language. Updated Rating to MA. Mature Content in some chapters.
1. Chapter 1: Beginning

**It's been a while since I have written a fiction so please bear with me while I get into the swing of things.**

**I don't have a direction in which I plan to take this fiction, I will probably just see where I go from here chapter by chapter but ideas would be welcome. I do plan on making it a bit more Lemony in a few chapters when I think of plot.**

**I sadly do not own THG, well I own a set of the books but the rest of it is Ms Collins'. I just wish I did. Reviews are welcome :)**

Chapter 1:

One month, that is how long I have been back here in District 12. One long month of wandering through the streets, which were no longer as ruined as they were all those months ago when I first walked the ruins of my former home...

Home. It is a strange word, the home I grew up in still stood on the edge of the meadow, just as empty as it had on that day I took Bonnie and Twill but I cannot face it any more, too many memories. The home I moved into as a Victor, the one I currently reside is just empty, without my mum or Prim it just stands empty. The memories of the past, haunt the four walls.

If I was honest with myself it was a struggle trying to get through each day, each day of the last month had been difficult, Sae had been in every day to take the meat I had hunted that morning and cooked for myself and Haymitch, not that we ate together, I would take his food and leave it somewhere out of his way but easily accessible because he was usually drunk or passed out. He hadn't wasted time returning to his former glorified drunken self when we arrived back in District 12. _"So much for keeping an eye on me" _I had thought to myself one the first evening I started this routine.

Every week I would have a phone call with Dr Aurelis' in the Capitol, I wasn't interested in talking about me, every time I was on the phone I just wanted to ask how Peeta was doing, how was the boy with the bread. I missed him, I could admit that now. After everything that we had been through, it made me miss him to know he wasn't just 2 doors away, it wasn't there in the distance keeping an eye on me, watching out for me like he had during the games, even when he was Hijacked, lovely, dependable Peeta came back to me. He was the constancy in my life that was now missing.

Nightmares plagued me as I slept, nightmares of the games, being attacked by those Mutts, seeing Peeta die over and over again at the hands of President Snow, watching Rue die, seeing Cinna bludgeoned before my eyes, seeing Finnick killed... haunted every night with no respite. The only place I wasn't haunted was with Peeta and now that was missing. I figured that I deserved this, it was my fault, it was all my fault.

If I had just died in those first games, let Peeta win, everything would as it should be. Prim outside enjoying the weather milking her goat, mum knitting as she watched, Peeta with his family baking or painting, everyone doing something that they loved.

Yet it was me that was here, suffering. It wasn't going to get easier, I was just starting to contend myself with the fact Peeta was not going to come back this time, he wouldn't want to come back here, his family were gone. Not like my mother in District 4 unable to face the memories of District 12, there was only me left here for Peeta and whilst I longed for him to return, not that I could understand why I wanted him here, when everything seemed to change again.

Today there was a train from the Captiol, refugees, workers and families returned to District 12, we now had clean streets, most of the bodies were buried in the Meadow and they were getting ready to start reconstructing the District, it was one of the wishes of President Paylor, she wanted each District rebuilt, helping each other and working together as a unit to stabilise the country. As the Mockingjay I had obviously agreed with this idea, it was depressing in District 12 with only a handful of living people and the ghosts of those who the Captiol killed. I didn't stick around to see who had gotten off this train, after the first 2 or 3 I had realised he wasn't coming back and nor was my mother.

I spent the day in the woods, hunting, trying to let the thoughts of my sister abate, she had haunted my nightmares last night, blaming me for what happened, I had woken in a scream and cried as I missed her and silently begged for forgiveness. I could see all of the Primrose flowers for which she was named starting to grow throughout the woods so I had sat down in the middle of the flowers and sung "The Hanging Tree" as I wept quietly and to myself, listening as a few mockingjay's picked up the tune, causing me to laugh lightly to myself. Peeta had been right, the birds had paused before they picked up my song like they had for my father.

As evening was drawing in I headed back to Victor's Village and my "home", I had a relatively successful day hunting, several rabbits and one or two squirrels where tucked into my game bag. When I approached the cold looking house that was my own, it took me a moment to realise something was different. I could smell something in the air... _"Primrose" _I muttered to myself and then I saw them. Outside my house, in a window box, the pink and yellow of the unmistakable flower that I just been sat in...

I hadn't done that and I know Haymitch wouldn't... there was only one person in this world that would have done a gesture like that. As my brain came to that conclusion I dropped the game bag as my heart skipped a beat and I almost ran to his house, knocking on the door, I didn't even know if he was there or I was just imagining things but I had to see. I had to see if he was back, it didn't make sense.

My heart pounding in my chest I raised a shaky hand and knocked three times on the door and waited for a moment. It felt like the longest few seconds in my life until I heard a noise, the unmistakable noise of his prosthetic leg on the wooden floor and this caused my heart to race more as he opened the door, confusion on his face before it broke into that small smile, with that hint of shyness that had caused so much confusion in me the first time I saw it before the Games, with that smile he almost whispered my name _"Katniss"_

And I couldn't help but smile back at him, the first time I had smiled in months, maybe even since I had found out he was alive and back at District 13, before I had learnt he was hijacked and as my heart continue to pound loudly against my chest I finally managed to speak

"_Peeta."_


	2. Chapter 2: Always

**Sorry for the cliff-hanger. I didn't want it to get too long! I hope this makes up for it!**

**Thank you to everyone who has favourite this story, reviewed and put it on alert! It means so much to know that you all like it! I have the next few chapters written. I won't be able to post again until the weekend after today but I promise to keep writing over the weekend.**

**Much love.**

**As before: I don't own THG, just in my dreams.**

Chapter 2:

My heart continued to pound as I smiled back at Peeta, I couldn't believe that he had returned to District 12. He just looked at me with that perfect smile almost waiting for me to continue but all I could manage was "_You're home,"_ which caused him to smile a little more.

"_I guess I am"_ He said as he opened his door a little more welcoming me into his house and I followed him in, now I couldn't help but feel a little awkward, what on earth did I say to him? Did I ask him how he was? Did I ask if he still hated me? Or did I just tell him I missed him. I didn't feel like I had the luxury of saying that I missed him or even to feel whatever it was I felt for him, for I all I knew he hated me and that this was just a little facade, it didn't even occur to me that he might not be over his hijacking.

He finally rested in his kitchen, he had been baking, or at least about to start when I had knocked _"Sorry for the mess"_ he apologised as he sat down _"Would you like some tea? Something to eat?"_ he asked looking at me. I couldn't help admire at how polite he was.

"_No thank you, I just came back from hunting"_ I explained, not sure why I had told him this because it didn't need justifying but I felt like I owed him some sort of explanation. _"I had figured... I knocked when I got back but when you didn't answer Sae and Haymitch said you had started hunting again... I guess it's you're getting better"_ he said, he now averted his gaze a little from my own as I felt a warmth pass through me. He had looked for me when he got back.

"_I wouldn't call it getting better" _I replied now looking down at my fingers, _"It was more a distraction from everything"_ I explained, feeling the need to explain it, I wanted to tell him that it was because it distracted me from the fact he wasn't there, the fact I didn't think he would return but when I opened my mouth those where not the words that came out _"How are you Peeta... how was the Capitol?" _I didn't mean to intrude and when I saw his body tense a little, I took a step back wondering if I had gone too far.

However, this was not the case, he looked up at me with his shrugged _"Like you I guess... not really getting better but... trying to distract myself... hence the baking... but the Capitol... it's changing... they've helped me with my you know... with the thoughts"_ I could see that it was a struggle for him to speak about it. He was normally so fluent with his words, he had this amazing ability to calm everyone and create that spark but he seemed dejected, it was hard for him to talk about the hijacking.

I nodded my head and looked at him, understanding how difficult it was for him to talk about it, it was hard for me to talk about what happened, about losing Prim, losing everyone but now... I hadn't lost everyone. Peeta was back and although I had no idea what was going on, or what was going to happen, just having him near it was helping. _"Distractions..."_ was all I managed as I took a little step closer to the middle of the room.

I hadn't realised Peeta had moved whilst I had been lost in my thoughts for that moment before I mumbled at him so it was a bit of a shock when I looked up and saw him stood a lot closer to me than I expected _"I've missed you Katniss..."_ he said in a low tone, almost so low that I didn't hear it. My heart skipped a little as I looked at him almost shocked.

"_You missed me?"_ I gasped at him "_you should hate me... I thought you wouldn't come back... I didn't think you would. I mean... it's my fault what happened to you"_ I hadn't meant for those words to come out, but I was now fighting to keep tears in, guilt was washing over my so quickly that I couldn't help it.

I finished my little statement, speech whatever it was and I felt Peeta wrap his arms around him, holding him tight to him like he had before, before he was hijacked, it felt like I had my boy with the bread back, I inhaled his scent, wanting to remember it forever just in case this was the last ever hug that I receieved from him, just in case it was the last time I could hold Peeta in my arms._ "Katniss... it wasn't your fault. You didn't... you didn't do this to me. The Capitol did. Snow did it. Not you. I returned... I returned because I need you... I don't know how fixed I am... but I came back for you."_ He said this as his stroked my hair comforting me.

It was strange hearing those words come from him after a month of convincing myself that he hated me, that we would never return to District 12 and if he did it wouldn't be for me. I felt hope, the same hope I had felt when I had saw that dandelion all those years ago. The boy with the bread had done it again. Given me hope, maybe just maybe, we can get through this together. I nodded my head and looked up at him_ "Really?"_ I felt like I needed confirmation, to make sure that this wasn't just another nightmare that I was having, foolishly allowing me to hope and snatching it away from me at the last minute.

He smiled at me, his gentle smile genuine; I hadn't seen this smile in a long time as his lips said a simple word causing me to smile in return "_Always"_


	3. Chapter 3: Realisation

**Okay so I lied... I have another few chapters written so I thought I would update early. I probably won't be able to update again until Sunday or Monday but I am writing away... a few lemon's planned in the coming chapters!  
**

**I love the reviews and how many people have favourited this story. It means so much to me! Really thank you! The more reviews I get the more I wanna update and it inspires me more! Anyway...  
**

**I have done a bit of a time-skip with this one, I didn't want to dwell too much on certain daily routines, or make things happen to quickly as I wanted to keep it real, give them time to heal.**

**I hope you like it :) **

Chapter 3,

A few months had passed since Peeta had returned, we were both healing, he didn't seem to be having as many flashbacks now, even Haymitch had stopped being so drunk, it was like we were all starting to heal as District 12 was slowly being rebuilt.

Peeta had started to rebuild his family's bakery, it gave him something to do whilst I was hunting and Haymitch had started taking care of some geese that had made his back yard their home. It had been rather amusing watching Haymitch try to haphazardly look after these geese when they had first arrived. He had spent a good few hours shouting trying to get rid of them before giving up and deciding to look after them.

Me and Peeta we were finding peace with each other, we hadn't pushed things, we didn't talk about us, I was frightened of what I might say, of what I felt, I knew deep down Peeta deserved someone better, someone whole, who wanted marriage and kids but the thought of bringing a child into this world still frightened me. Like the moment I knew, President Snow would come back and take that child away from me and put them in the Hunger Games... rationally it wouldn't happen. The Games where over and the arenas were being destroyed and monuments erected in each District, each carved the names of all the fallen, the names of those who died at the hand of the Captiol, either in the games or for the rebellion. Rue, Cinna, Finnick and Prim would always be remembered along with everyone else, it was something I was looking forward to being able to help with.

Since the day Peeta arrived we would spend every day together, we would eat our meals together, talk about our day, how the rebuilding was going, he would hold me in his arms in nothing more than what seemed like a friendly embrace, until one evening we fell asleep on his sofa, neither of us had a nightmare since that evening as we now spend every night together, seeing off the nightmares together. When we do awaken with them, we just hold one another, telling each other that it wasn't real, it was like we were on the train about to go into the Quarter Quell all over again.

Every time I woke up, Peeta would hold me, wipe away my tears and that hunger, that stirring that I felt on the beach in our second games would reappear, it made me want to kiss him, made me want him more than I had wanted anything else but I knew it was fruitless. Peeta didn't love me anymore. We were friends and that was probably more than I could ever ask for.

One evening Peeta was working late with one of the builders in the District, going over plans for the re-build of the bakery I was sat in Haymitch's kitchen, I hated eating alone now and with Peeta working, I had brought Greasy Sae's Rabbit Stew over and after Haymitch finished swearing at the geese he joined me and I laughed _"Having trouble are we?"_ I asked smirking at him as he brushed his scraggy hair from his face and took a swig of the bottle of white liquor closest to him _"nothing I can't handle sweetheart. I dealt with you didn't i?"_ he said back.

Even after all this time, after everything me and Haymitch still had that relationship we had when I entered the games for the first time, it still griped that he called me _"sweetheart"_ but I let it pass. He did have enough scars and it seemed almost endearment from him after all of this time. His remark had caused me to laugh again and I shook my head _"Like you had much choice... but I guess it is the same. The odds brought us together like they did you and the geese" _ I said simply as I started on the stew.

Haymitch rolled his eyes and started eating as well _"Yeah suppose..."_ he grumbled, the talk of the "odds" were not a strong point for either of us, we had both suffered at the hands of the Captiol, for our actions but we were here and all be it broken we were here. _"How's the boy?"_ Haymitch asked with a mouth full off food. Effie would have a fit if she saw his manners, but this was not what was really on my mind as Haymitch asked how Peeta was, my stomach did that little flip it did whenever someone talked about it, or mentioned his name and a slight blush crossed my cheeks, I hoped Haymitch would miss it but I should know better, he misses nothing, and he raised an eye brow and smirked _"Well it's about time you gave the boy a chance sweetheart. It's been long enough"_ he added which caused me to blush more.

"_WHAT?_ _It's nothing like that!" _I exclaimed and almost broke the bowl as I dropped my spoon in shock _"We're friends Haymitch! That's all! Nothing happens! It's just... we sleep better next to one another. Stops the nightmares! Surely you would understand –that-" _I added, part of my mind wishing it wasn't the case but I knew it couldn't be anything else and it felt horrible insisting this.

"_Friends my arse"_ Haymitch said looking at my blush and I was pretty sure that was figuring out my own feelings for Peeta, even though I wasn't totally sure of them myself, I was sure that I might love Peeta, might not be able to live without that hope that he gives me. He is the boy with the bread and that dandelion in spring but he deserved someone better. His outburst caused me to turn scarlet _"It's true! You cannot tell me after everything that Peeta still loves me. He was hijacked because of his feelings for me. Okay he is cured... or almost cured but still... he should hate me!"_

Truth rang out in each of the words and Haymitch just laughed _"Trust you to figure out your feelings for the boy after all of this time..."_ he just smirked at me _"You said the word yourself sweetheart. He should but he doesn't, you can see it in the way he looks at you, he still loves you. He came back here for you. They offered to send him elsewhere but he wanted to come back here. For you. He, like you, probably wouldn't have gotten this far without you."_ Each word caused me to blink more at him, shocked at what I was hearing...

He had come back for me. _"I didn't know..."_ I said, I might have sounded stupid but in front of Haymitch who was still swigging the bottle of liquor I probably didn't sound too stupid. Haymitch laughed again as he put the bottle down _"Of course you didn't sweetheart. He wouldn't tell you, I wasn't gonna. You had to figure this out for yourself and you finally have."_ Haymitch had a look on his face that resembled Buttercup when I had given him entrails. Euphoric. I shook my head _"But... but I can't give him what he wants. He wants a family, marriage... I don't know Haymitch... he deserves so much more than broken me,"_ I said quietly, though I didn't say the words, it was the first step to admitting that I loved, or almost in love with Peeta.

At this Haymitch smirked and repeated words he had once told me _"You could live a thousand lives and not deserve him sweetheart. But he wants you. He has since he was 5. You've heard the story. You don't know what you'll want in 5 even 10 years... you're growing up sweetheart. You don't know where you'll be in 10 years... but I know now Katniss, you should be with Peeta"._

I looked at Haymitch, dumfounded, sense, that was coming out of his mouth. I couldn't promise Peeta I would want children, or even marriage but he was right, maybe the use of my name instead of his term of endearment. Maybe a chance was all I needed, time even, I couldn't promise anything but if I loved Peeta, I love Peeta, I can't get through the night without him next to me. Right now there is no me without him, I can't do this without that hope, that gentleness he brings. I have enough fire of my own, I didn't need Gale's fire, I needed Peeta's hope. _"You're right..." _ I said simply looking down at the bowl and glancing outside, the moon was shining bright now, Peeta would be home.

"_Then go talk to him Katniss, tell him"_ Haymitch said picking up the bottle again and drinking more from it. I nodded and stood, butterflies fluttering and causing the stew to sit uneasy in my stomach. I said my goodbyes and headed from Haymitch's house and down the short street to Peeta's house.

Nerves shooting through me as I knocked on his door, hoping that Haymitch was right, I heard Peeta walking to the door like I had a few months ago, when he opened the door that's when I saw it.

The little vase of dandelions on his table


	4. Chapter 4: Dandelion

**Okay so last chapter was longggggg. Sorry for the cliff-hanger. Don't hate me!**

**I am updating a little early cause I managed to write a few new chapters!  
**

**I am only going to post them as I write more so I am ready for when I possibly hit a wall, but all the reviews and alerts are spurring me on!  
**

**Much love!  
**

**As usual I don't own THG... I just wish...**

Chapter 4:

Seeing those Dandelions on the table in his kitchen had caused my heart to swell a little, blood coursing through my veins to my cheeks as Peeta smiled at me, he wasn't expecting me for a little while but he stood aside_ "Hey Katniss" _he greeted as I walked past him. Now I was in his house nerves seemed to kick in. What if Haymitch was just kidding... Nerves and a sick feeling seemed to sweep over me as I looked around his clean kitchen.

"_How did your meeting go?" _I asked, chickening out of saying anything else... I was such a coward sometimes. I smiled at him, hoping I was showing enough interest that it didn't seem like I was here for another reason.

Peeta smiled in return as he walked back to what he was doing, sorting through a set of papers as he shrugged _"It was good I guess. Some plans for a new design, some new equipment, he is going to get someone from the Capitol to come out and have a look at the space for equipment..." _I could see the look in his eyes, he looked excited, it was nice to see that sparkle in his eyes. It was unreal just how beautiful his eyes were.

I smiled and nodded listening to him _"That's really good. I am glad you have something Peeta."_ I was quite impressed at how happy I sounded for him, I was pleased he had something, he was doing something to honour his family's heritage, his family and it helped him heal, all I did was hunt. Peeta always was the superior one. I chuckled a little to myself as I remembered the last time I thought those words which caused Peeta to look at me like I had lost the plot.

"_How was dinner with Haymitch? Was he drunk?"_ Peeta asked, side-stepping my momentary lapse of sense, he was fiddling with the papers and he looked nervous as I felt which was strange, I had only seem him like this once and it was before he had a flashback, I was a bit concerned that this might happen again. I had managed to get away last time before Peeta succumbed to the flashback.

I ignored what he said and looked at him carefully, his hands playing with the paper, _"Peeta... are you okay?"_ I asked unable to take my eyes off his hands, afraid to look up at his eyes in case they had turned to black and to see him slipping away from me.

"_Yeah... Yeah I'm fine"_ he replied, I heard the uncertainty in his voice and my heart broke at it, I frowned as I heard his feet walking, I couldn't figure out if it was away from me or not but he was pacing. I started down at my feet, I felt ashamed but I didn't want to leave but I knew with an oncoming flashback he would make me leave soon.

I rose, so much for talking to him I thought and without saying a word I took two steps towards the door when I heard Peeta talking, between the thoughts in my head and my own movement's I didn't hear Peeta approach me until he grabbed my arm. Fear coursed through me as I looked up at him, his eyes were not the black that I had come to associate with him flashbacks but his normal beautiful colour, but there was something else in his eyes, something I hadn't seen in a long time and before I could say another word, Peeta leaned in and kissed me.

I was shocked into stillness for a moment as I felt Peeta's lips against my own, that hunger stirred in me only twice before stirred again as I felt myself returning the gentle, soft kiss. It was after a moment of me returning the kiss that Peeta seemed to deepen the kiss, almost desperately, it caused my blood to rush and my heart raced as he did this. I had never felt this before, he was kissing me like I had never been kissed before. It was making me what more, making me what to hold him close to me and never let this end.

Before I was even had a chance to react to the kiss he pulled away. The moment his lips where removed from my own, I missed them, I missed his closeness and that intimacy. Before my brain could process words, process anything other than missing him close to me I heard Peeta sigh and I looked up at him confused _"I had to do that... at least once..."_ he said as he walked back over to the table and picked up the papers.

Confusion washed over me as I turned to look at him _"What do you mean... at least once?"_ did he not want me anymore? Was that a goodbye kiss? That fear of losing Peeta once and for all hit me and I walked over to him and he averted his gaze from me this time and it was his turn to blush.

"_Well... it's just... I had to do that once to get it out of my system... I'm sorry Katniss... if I crossed a line... I know we were just building our lives, friendship..." _Peeta said, simply, his words cutting my as much as the screams of my nightmares. I was losing Peeta.

I frowned at those words which caused Peeta confusion _"Katniss?"_ he asked as I just stared at him dumbfounded and opened my mouth uttering the words that were now scaring me _"You... you don't love me anymore?"_ I blinked unable to believe I just said those words, and from the look on Peeta's face pretty much couldn't believe I had just said what I had.

"_Are... are you joking Katniss? That is WHY I had to do that. I had to that just once to get it out of my system. I know you don't want a relationship, I can't live without you Katniss, I can't get through this without you and if that means just being your friend then that is what I will live with but I will always love you. Always."_ My heart swelled at those words and it was my turn to move and I kissed Peeta this time, softly but purposefully, or as purposefully as I could, I didn't really have much experiencing kissing or conveying emotion in a kiss.

As I pulled away I looked up in his eyes which looked shocked _"Peeta, you deserve so much more, you deserve someone who can give you everything you've ever wanted, you deserve someone who can give you that family you've always wanted, a marriage children... I can't promise that... I can't promise I will ever want those things but Peeta... I can't do this without you either. I can't live without the hope that you give me. There is no me without you... ever since that day with the bread..."_ my heart raced as I said those words, I was finally admitting how I felt. I was finally admitting it to myself, to Peeta.

I loved him.

Peeta's face split into a wide grin and he looked at him, running a hand over my hair and my cheek in a loving caress asking _"You love me? Real or not real?"_

I didn't even need to think about as I looked up at him, my heart leaping at his grin as I said without hesitation,

"_Real"_


	5. Chapter 5: Healing

**Aren't you lucky... I have posted earlier than I planned. **

**I am now trying to get ahead with the chapters for when I am not able to write or am suffering from write-block.**

**Anyway thank you everyone so much for the alerts and the reviews. They mean so much!**

**I still don't own THG :(**

**This one might get a little lemony...**

Chapter 5:

It was odd how time seemed to heal, how being in love seemed to make things better. Less than a week after my talk with Peeta, us declaring that we loved one another, things seemed to look up. Peeta hadn't had any flashbacks this week and I had spent every night in his arms and no nightmares came. I still dreamt of those I had lost but they were happy for me. Seeing Prim in my dreams giving her blessing, seeing Cinnia telling me he was still betting on me, made me smile, it was sad remembering them but it was nice remembering them in a happy.

When I finally awoke from my sleep that morning, I looked up and smiled seeing Peeta lying next to me._ "No nightmares again."_ He announced, he did this every morning to let me know that I had slept well, it made my heart swell knowing that he was taking care of me still.

"_I know... I had dreams instead... good dreams"_ I said sleepily rubbing my eyes a little to look at him better. He always amazed me how beautiful he looked first thing in the morning. He reached out and ran his hand over my hair, _"Oh? Can you tell me what it was?"_ he asked, pulling me a little closer to him.

"_I was just... remembering everyone. Prim. Cinna, Finnick... I don't want to forget them Peeta, the dreams... what if they go away?"_ I asked him, hoping that I didn't sound too childish, I was fearful that the dreams would change I would stop remembering everyone. Peeta rubbed my back and kissed my nose lightly before he responded. _"Katniss, you'll never forget them. They are part of you. Part of us... if you're worried, we could do something to honour their memory to remember them." _He said offering a solution of sort and pieces slotted together in my mind.

The Herb book!

Peeta and I had worked on that book for weeks before the Quarter Quell, him drawing and me adding descriptions, it was the first normal thing we had done together. I sat up as I thought of this and smiled _"I know what we can do! We could make a book. A memory book of everyone who died, add a picture, you could draw them, we could add a description. Like the herb book!"_ I said, almost excitedly as I smiled at him. I could remember them whenever I wanted. We all could. I am sure Haymitch could offer things about old tributes and we have all the films, Effie could help, Dr Aurelis could send the supplies to us, we could do it for everyone who died in the war. In 75 years of hunger games if we wanted.

Peeta smiled up at him, he looked almost proud of me as he also sat up, _"Katniss, I think that is perfect. We can get people to help and add their memories. It'll help us as well, help us remember the good times with everyone._" I was so pleased he agreed with him that I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him for the first time that morning, it was probably a little more forceful than I had meant to as we seemed to fall backwards onto the bed, my arms around Peeta, his arms around my waist as we kissed, me lying over his chest.

I felt that hunger for him stir as I kissed him and he responded, even know I still couldn't get over how Peeta's lips felt against my own, their gentleness controlled, but now, it was me that was controlling the kiss, I was letting my happiness seep into him through my kiss.

I felt a bit of curiosity as I ran my tongue over his lips, wanting to see what this felt like, he opened his mouth, granting my tongue access to his mouth and within seconds it almost became a battle for dominance, this was the first time we had kissed like this and I felt an unusual heat coursing through me, my stomach doing flips. It felt amazing to know that this was there to be had, to have this with Peeta.

The heat coursing through me was new, it was starting to pool and it was exciting, it was making me want more. My teenage hormones going crazy telling me to keep going, that I wanted it, but it didn't seem like that as I continued my battle for dominance with Peeta and his tongue, it was need, not want. I needed the boy with the bread.

As I thought this I felt something against my leg, something I had not felt before, I didn't realise it was Peeta until I moved my leg and he pulled away, he was blushing furiously, _"Katniss... I am so sorry... i... I got carried away."_ He said stammering each word as he spoke and then I blushed due to my own innocence. That against my leg was Peeta... I had done that to him.

My stomach flipped and I looked at him, I had no idea what I was doing but I was going to let my hormones go, let them lead me now, I might not be ready for sex, but teenagers have urges and I was curious, I knew how sex worked in theory, I had read the book my mother gave me.

"_Don't be Peeta"_ I said, trying to be coy or even seductive, I probably didn't sound right but I leaned back down and kissed Peeta again, picking up the pace straight away. Feeling that heat running through me, that curiosity causing my hands to run down his back to the bottom of his shirt where I paused still keeping my mouth moving in time with his, I was new to this, I had no idea what to do.

One thing I knew, I was the Girl on Fire... and right now, I felt that fire burning for Peeta.

**A/N;**

**Don't you just hate me for this :P I promise... a bit of lemon goodness in the next chapter. :) Sorry this is a bit shorter than the other chapters. I didn't want to start and it get too long. I promise the next few chapters will make it up. The sooner I post depends on Reviews but I have a busy week this week so it might be Friday before I can post... I might try tomorrow if I get more chapters written tonight. I am currently working on Chapter 9!  
**

**Please continue your love, it is so amazing seeing people appreciate my story. It means a lot  
**

**Ash :)  
**


	6. Chapter 6: Moment

**Okay. As promised. A bit of lemony goodness, language etc. (I plan their first time to be later... and I promise a Peeta POV soon a few comedy chapters in a bit!)**

**Reviews are love.**

**I promise I will try and stop the cliff hangers... but then again maybe not... You gotta be cruel to be kind! **

**On the plus side, I am updating earlier than I had planned. I made time in my busy busy week for you all. How nice am I. Delivering lemon smutness mid-week for that little pick me up. I may not be able to update until Friday or Saturday though... I just hope this will keep you going until then.  
**

Chapter 6:

My fingers trembled a little as I pulled on the bottom of Peeta's night-shirt, we both slept fully clothed, I was ashamed of my scars and I think Peeta covered up for my sake, I think most people think I have a problem with nakedness... I would normally agree but now, I wanted to see Peeta, I wanted to see just how beautiful he was.

As I tugged on his shirt Peeta pulled away from the kiss, I could see the lust in his eyes, the hunger that I knew was in my own eyes, reflected in his, his tone was different this time when he spoke _"Katniss... what are you doing?"_ he asked, I had never heard it before, but I was sure that it was arousal that I heard in his voice, after feeling him against my leg, I was sure of it._ "Living in the moment..."_ I replied and with a tug, whilst his lips were away from mine, I pulled his shirt off in one swift motion and dropped it to the floor.

Peeta was perfect, his arms were still toned, maybe not as they had once been and although scars, pink and tight like my own covered his torso, he was still perfect, he was so beautiful, it reminded me of a sculpture, that I had once seen in a book, he was like one of the Greek Gods. Unable to help myself I ran a finger over his chest, over the toned muscles that were starting to form once again, he was glorious.

Peeta was blushing a little, was he self-conscious? I smiled at him _"You're so beautiful"_ I whispered leaning in to kiss him again. This time I let my hands continue to roam over his chest, I wanted to feel him and etch that memory into my brain, let me remember this moment. As I kissed him my hand ran over his nipple and he groaned a little. The groan caused warmth to spread over me and between my legs, I was causing him to groan like that. His nipples seemed so sensitive to touch.

This seemed to spur me on, what else was he sensitive to? I broke the kiss and trailed a line of kisses over his jaw and neck, being careful not to leave any marks, Haymitch didn't miss a beat, he would not let either of us live it down if he saw that. I continued my journey, littering kisses over his neck, running my hand over his stomach as I brushed my lips over his left nipple and he groaned again, but this time I was sure it was name.

I smiled and carefully, let my hand brush over the noticeable bulge that was now straining against Peeta's bottoms which caused another moan of my name and his eyes closed. I couldn't believe that he was like that... over me.

While Peeta had his eyes closed I pulled on the hem of his trouser bottoms and pulled them off, leaving him in naught but a pair of grey boxer shorts. I paused for moment and looked at the sight before me. Peeta, in nothing but boxer shorts, his beautiful body, his scars, his toned leg, his prosthetic leg, how I got so lucky I didn't know. Peeta opened his eyes and looked at me tilting his head at me _"Katniss?" _he asked, his voice deep and aroused, I shifted a little at the warmth in between my legs. I ignored it though and smiled at him again _"Tell me what to do Peeta..."_ I said simply leaning down and kissing him softly.

It was almost like I was trying to tease him, or if I knew how to tease I probably would be, I let my hand run over his clothed manhood, running my tongue over his lips giving him a chance to talk _"I... touch me... please"_ I couldn't help but notice how polite he was, even at this time.

I had no idea what I was doing or how to do it but I pushed his boxers down and as I did Peeta's manhood stood to attention, I couldn't believe how big he was, how on earth was that supposed to fit into a person? I pushed that thought from my head as I continued on the here and now, and wrapped my hand over the base of penis, as I did he groaned, "_Oh god... Katniss..."_ he moaned, it was almost so loud that I was frightened that Haymitch would walk in so I leaned down and kissed him.

Kissing him as deeply as I could, letting my tongue roam his mouth I let instinct take over and I moved my hand up and down over his member. I must have done something right because he groaned into my mouth. It made me feel strangely powerful to have this, to be causing Peeta to make these noises. To be causing him, what I hoped was pleasure. _"Is this enough?"_ I asked still continuing my movement, up and down, up and down running my hand over his penis. Not holding it too tight, not to soft but I didn't know, Peeta was a boy, I was sure that he would know what he liked, I might be innocent but I wasn't stupid, _"Tell me what you want Peeta" _I whispered in his ear and he groaned again, bucking a little into my hand.

"_H... harder...f...fa..faster" _he groaned and I obliged, moving my hand up and down over him harder and faster, watching this beautiful boy squirming almost, panting, and now starting to sweat at what I was doing for him. _"oh... oh... god Katniss" _he moaned. His moans did nothing but spur me on, harder and faster I continued to stroke him. It was amazing and I couldn't help how turned on I felt, I could feel just how wet I was, I wasn't one for doing it to myself much... I would just shower, it would be fine... but then I thought of Peeta doing something similar to me and it spurred me on. Thinking how it would feel to have Peeta rubbing me... putting his fingers in me and I had to kiss him before I moaned myself at the thoughts.

I didn't have dirty thoughts... or at least normally but it must be what I was doing. I heard Peeta break my train of thought _"F...fuck... Katniss... I'm... I'm coming..."_ and with that I felt his penis spasm and I didn't let go in time.

He coated my hand with his seed, he blushed furiously panting hard, I blushed a little _"Sorry..." _he muttered and I shook my head at him and looked at my hand curiously, I will never know what caused me to do it, maybe it was the shock of what I had just done or seeing my Peeta swear and come and undone like that for me, I raised my hand to my mouth and licked it, tasting him.

It didn't taste too bad, I had always heard from girls at school, well overheard, that it was supposed to be salty but it didn't taste salty, it was not too bad, I saw the look in Peeta's eyes and he blinked letting his heart rate calm as I cleaned my hand.

"_that's so fucking sexy"_ he said, his voice still aroused, his brow covered in sweat and I blushed. _"If you say so." _ I said back, I felt a bit weird, what on earth do you say to someone who is stark naked in front of you but I didn't need to say anything as Peeta leaned up kissed me again and rolled me over with a smirk

"_Payback time" _he smirked.

**Heh... that was a bit long wasn't it... I think we shall continue in the next chapter.**


	7. Chapter 7: Payback

**Okay so here we go again**

**Part 2 of the smutty lemony goodness, I am thinking of doing a few chapters in Peeta's POV. **

**And a couple of hilarious moments/awkward conversations to come in the new few chapters :) **

**Thank you for all the love you've shown so far. The more reviews I get, the more I want to write! Woop**

**I am sorry it's taken a while to update, it's been a BUSY week. I have a bit of a dead brain at the moment but we have a long weekend so I am hoping to re-find my muse. I do have another 3 chapters ready for you so don't worry.  
**

**I don't own anything sadly... just the thoughts in my mind...**

Chapter 7:

I didn't even have time to register what Peeta had just said when I found myself lying on my back, Peeta kissing him like I had just been kissing him, passionate and full of heat, nothing mattered now except this.

Every kiss was like a spark, his arms around him holding me close, his hands now starting to explore my frame. Every place his hand ran over seemed to burn, I really was the girl on fire right now, on fire because of what Peeta was doing to me. It was incredible.

I didn't know it was possible to feel like this, to feel this close to someone or to want someone so badly, it was almost need. I needed Peeta right now.

As if he was listening to my thoughts, he moved his mouth away from my lips and started to kiss my jaw, my neck and that line up to my ear, when he got their he paused _"You're so beautiful Katniss"_ he whispered seductively in my ear causing me to bite on my lip. Taking my distraction as a sign, he tugged my own t-shirt off, leaving my chest bare to him.

I was wearing one of the bra's that Cinna had designed for me, it was simple black lace, I didn't have enormous breasts like some of the other girls in the district or like Glimmer had from the first games but they were getting bigger, as I grew up and grew into my curves from being able to eat better. As I thought of them, and saw Peeta looking at me I blushed, _"I am sorry they aren't very big..._" I muttered and he quietened me with a kiss.

"_They're perfect Katniss... you're perfect..."_ he smiled at me as he started to kiss my jaw, and this time down and across my shoulders, paying attention to the scars that scattered my skin. I couldn't believe how lucky I was, Peeta liked me the way I was, scars and all. I blushed a little, gasping as Peeta's hand ran over my bra covered breast, how on earth did something that simple feel so good.

Peeta must have took that as good sign because he started to pay more attention to my breasts, needing them and causing me to moan quietly against my own lips. The attention he was paying to my breasts wasn't enough, I sat up and reached around my back, Peeta looked at me with wide eyes, _"What..?"_ he stated to ask as I unclasped my bra and removed it, revealing my bare breasts to him. I had never been so exposed in front of people, other than my styling crew but this seemed right, I could see by the look in Peeta's eyes that he was shocked, he looked like a kid in a candy shop..._"wow... Katniss... you're beautiful... Thank you"_ he kissed me lovingly on the lips for a moment, preventing me from giggling a little at his thank you. He was so polite.

I took one of Peeta's hands as he kissed me, and placed it over my breast, I needed him to touch me, every part of me was burning with need for him. I groaned into his lips as he rolled my nipple between his fingers, I was so turned on. Peeta pulled away from my lips and before I could protest he placed his lips over my right breast. Kissing the sensitive skin that was there and surrounding my nipple.

I closed my eyes and felt more heat pooling between my legs, I was now aching to be touched, I couldn't believe how wet I felt and how much I wanted Peeta to touch me. He was swirling his tongue around my nipple, alternating between each breath, causing me to moan as he took one nipple between his teeth, biting it carefully. _"Peeta..."_ I moaned, it was my turn to have the arousal ripe in my voice now, _"Please... I need more..."_ I moaned at him again and I felt him smirk against my breast as he moved his hand to remove my pyjama bottoms, leaving me in the matching underwear to the bra, I felt my wetness between my legs and now felt a little self-conscious, I was exposed and this was new to me but Peeta ran his hand over my underwear cupping me causing me to moan his name loudly.

"_Peeta... please..." _I groaned as he did it again, it felt so good having his hand there.

He pushed my underwear from my body leaving me completely naked in front of him, he took a moment to take my whole body in before leaning down and kissing me again, _"You're so beautiful..._" he said almost breathlessly, as he ran his hand over my bare opening and moaned himself at my wetness, which caused me to moan also, he hadn't touched me that much and I was already close to falling apart. _"You're so wet for me Katniss... tell me what you want... tell me how much you want it..._"

I blushed a little at his words, and as I opened my mouth he ran his hand over my, his fingers catching my little ball of nerves, _"Oh... fuck.."_ I moaned, I couldn't get my brain to function, my head swirled and I closed my eyes as Peeta whispered again _"What do you want Katniss... tell me_" Hearing Peeta talking like that was incredible. I had never seen this side of him before and it was so damn sexy. _"T...touch me... please... Peeta I... I need you... touch me"_ I couldn't believe that I had just said that, nor that it sounded like I was begging, only Peeta could do this to me.

Upon hearing my words, Peeta used his fingers to open my legs a little further giving him more space and he carefully pushed one finger into my wetness, causing me to gasp and groan. I had only done this to myself a few times but having Peeta doing it was so much better. He worked his finger around, stretching me a little pulling it in and out of me a few times, each time his finger entered me I moaned his name.

"_More... I need more" _I managed to get out as I closed my eyes, letting myself go into the warmth of pleasure and giving myself over to Peeta. I needed this and it felt amazing.

Peeta smirked and pushed another finger in, two fingers now moving in and out of me as he leaned over and took my breast in his mouth again. I swore again panting now as Peeta continued to tease my nipple and biting as he pushed his fingers in and out of me, moving me closer and closer towards an orgasm.

"_Harder... Please... Peeta... faster" _I moaned between gasps, he obliged now adding another finger working me, and he added a thumb to the ball of nerves and rubbed and thrusted his fingers in and out of me.

It didn't take much longer before the ball of pleasure that had been building exploded, I shuddered at his touch, screaming his name as my orgasm washed over me, I had come undone at Peeta's expert hands.

Panting and trying to regain my composure and breath I opened an eye and looked at Peeta who was now cleaning his fingers and I looked at him, it obviously didn't taste bad because he cleaned his fingers before lying down next to me and I cuddled into him with a content sigh.

"_Wow... thank you..." _I mumbled at him and Peeta chuckled. _"I think it is me who should thank you..._" he said wrapping an arm over me. Both of us still naked but it didn't bother me, Peeta pulled a blanket over us, to keep us warm, he must have assumed that the goosebumps on my skin where coldness but it was more the lasting signs of what we had just done.

"_You don't need to thank me for that Peeta..."_ I smiled kissing him softly and lovingly on the lips, as Peeta closed his eyes. _"I love you Katniss..." _he said with a smile on his face. _"you love me... real or not real?"_

I couldn't help the smile on my face as I curled up into his chest, resting my head on his bare chest and kissed his chest softly. _"So real... I love you so much Peeta."_ I whispered as we both fell into a blissful, nightmare free sleep.


	8. Chapter 8: The Morning After

**Okay so I thought I would have a go at writing this chapter as Peeta, please bare with me while I get to grips with Peeta.**

**Fluffy chapter coming up,**

**Thank you all for your continued support! Ideas are welcome as well as reviews!**

**I think I am through my temporary writers block I just written a REALLY long chapter that I am uber excited about which is why I am updating this earlier than I had planned.  
**

**Anyway, I love all of the reviews, thank you everyone who is adding this to their favourites and reviewing each chapter as they come out. It means a lot that you all love this story as much as me.  
**

**I don't own THG just a copy of the books.**

**I shall stop rambling now and let you read!  
**

Chapter 8:

Peeta POV.

Waking up next to Katniss was without a doubt one the greatest pleasures in life, her face resting on my chest as her own chest rose carefully and quietly as she slept; it took me a moment as I remembered that we were both naked. I smiled to myself as I remembered what had happened last night.

It had been amazing to see Katniss like that, she was free and living in the moment and made herself vulnerable for me, she was so beautiful and watching her come undone at me own hands was more than I could have hoped for. I just hoped she didn't regret what had happened or shut herself off from me again.

I felt a rumbling in my stomach that was craving food, carefully I disentangled myself from Katniss and threw on a pair of boxers and some trousers, not bothering with a shirt, I left something out for Katniss to change into when she woke if she wanted and left her a note in case she woke up and worried that I had left her. _**"Katniss, don't panic though I am sure you already have... I am downstairs making breakfast. Join me when you wake. Love P x"**_

I planted a careful and loving kiss on her temple and made my way downstairs, it was strange, the weather from outside of my window was reflecting my own mood, the sun was out and the skies where beautiful and blue. It was almost a perfect morning, it made me want to get my kit out and start to paint. Remember that evening in a picture but drawing Katniss like that, so perfect and beautiful, but I knew that was something I couldn't do without her permission. I didn't want to violate the new found trust she had given me last night.

I opened the cupboards and pulled out all the ingredients I would need to make Katniss' favourite bread, her favourite cheese buns and bread laced with nuts and raisins. I got lost in the needing of the bread, unable to help compare the two with the feel of Katniss' breasts in my hand last night.

I shook my head, _"Get a hold of yourself Peeta..."_ I mutter to myself turning my thoughts elsewhere, last thing I needed was to have a full blown hard-on and Katniss walk downstairs. I continued to busy myself with the breakfast, putting the bread in the oven and starting on preparing eggs and bacon.

Soon the house was filled with the delicious smells of food and cooking bread and I heard a noise upstairs, it startled me a little, before I remembered it was probably just Katniss. My thoughts where confirmed less than 5 minutes later as Katniss entered my kitchen wearing my shirt, a pair of my boxers and her hair in her trademark braid.

I swear the sight of her in my clothes nearly made me hard again, she looked so beautiful. She smiled at me _"Morning Peeta" _she walked over to me and I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her softly. _"Good Morning... you look so hot in my clothes Katniss"_ I grinned at her, I didn't want to push her and she tilted her head and grinned, _"Last night... was..."_ she started blushing a little and I kissed her blush _"Perfect." _I finished for her, moving her to a seat.

"_I made us breakfast"_ I smiled and put down a cup of hot chocolate and a jug of orange juice on the table. I could feel Katniss' eyes on me as I walked around the kitchen, it made me feel good to know that she was watching me, she was checking me out and found me attractive like that. If I hadn't had breakfast to take care of I probably would have tried to drag her upstairs for round 2.

"_It smells amazing Peeta."_ Katniss said as I took the bread from the oven and put them on the table. _"Thank you. I made your favourite... I hope you don't mind"_ I said bashfully, I couldn't help myself around her, I would get so polite around her even after last night.

Katniss leaned in and place a hand on my bare chest and smiled, it was the first time in a long time I had seen a smile reach her eyes, causing her grey Seam eyes to sparkle, a sparkle I had long thought I might never see again. It made my length twitch a little as she spoke _"of course I don't mind. Thank you Peeta."_

I kissed her once more and started to plate up the food I had cooked, setting a plate of bacon and eggs before her taking a seat. _"Do you have many plans for today?"_ I asked her as I started on my own breakfast. She shook her head a little, her braid brushing her collar bone, I swear everything she was doing today was turning me on. I was going to need a cold shower soon if this kept up.

"_Not really. I promised Rooba and Sae some fresh Game so I'll hunt for a little bit but nothing much... you?" _she explained, she ate her breakfast, as she cut the bread and saw the nuts and raisins she smiled at me. I knew she was remembering that this was the bread I had first given her. _"I have a meeting with the planners again today. Order forms being filled in today as well to get things under way"_ I explained, I was looking forward to re-building the bakery, carrying on my family tradition, it wasn't something that was necessary anymore, the District was stable enough that we didn't need things like this but it was as tribute to my father and brother's. It was them I wanted to remember, even my mother a little even though she had openly preferred my brothers and wished she had, had daughters, something she never let me forget.

Katniss smiled at me and raised a hand to touch my cheek, she had obviously thought that I had been thinking about my parents and brothers, as her touch was soft and gentle, _"You'll make them proud Peeta"_ she said smiling finishing her breakfast. _"Do you mind if I use your shower?" _she asked.

I nodded _"Of course not. There are some towels in the bedroom, help yourself... and Katniss... thank you." _I added, it meant a lot that touch, her words, her smile. She raised and put her plate in the sink and kissed my cheek with a bit of a cheeky grin on her face, I had never seen anything so cute in my life as she whispered in my ear _"Feel free to join me."_

I smirked and watched her walk towards the stairs, man her arse was fine. I had never really noticed before. I shuddered at the thought, feeling myself harden up at the thought of showering with Katniss, when I froze at a thought.

I didn't really know anything about sex. My dad had given me "The Talk" when I was 13 but at that age you don't really know much about it. I knew Katniss was fearful of getting pregnant and I would have to do what I could to prevent that but as an 18 year old young man... I had no idea what to do when... or if... we ended up in that situation. I went on instinct last night but would that be enough? I didn't want to do anything to rush her, I just wanted to be prepared for if that time came. I wanted to know what to do, what I would need to do to pleasure Katniss, to make her feel as good as I felt last night, how good I felt this morning.

I didn't really have anyone to talk to about this... well... I did but the thought was laughable. How could I talk to him about sex? About Katniss like that? I sat for a moment as I heard the shower turn on. Katniss, in my shower, naked...

I shivered again and rose, _"Fuck it..." _I thought to myself as I started to ascend the stairs.

I would have to bite the bullet and talk to him.

Talk to Haymitch.

Man that was going to be uncomfortable.

**A/N: I hope this was okay! I hope I did Peeta justice, I plan on a few chapters possibly swapping POV but first a few comedy chapters and a hint of Angst coming up... maybe Gale making an appearance and Johanna soon. **

**Thank you for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9: Help

**Okay so, I am going to go with a little bit of angst and comedy in this chapter.**

**It is again from Peeta's POV, I am going with an uber awkward situation soon. You'll have to keep reading to see how that turns out :P**

**Reviews are love :)I am sorry for the delay I wanted to write another chapter but I got stuck, sorry it is shorter than some of my other chapters. The next few will make up for it.  
**

**I am not sure how happy I am with this chapter but meh it's here for you.  
**

**Still don't own THG.**

Chapter 9:

Peeta POV.

I had no idea how on earth I was supposed to talk to Haymitch, I had spent the last two weeks trying to work it out, how to bring the subject up, or even what questions I would ask. I was putting it off, there was no other way to put it, Katniss always joked that I knew what to say, how to say things but when it came to this I had no idea.

Katniss was off hunting today, she didn't need to hunt but she would still go every day for the rest of the town, she would bring one or two Rabbits or Squirrels home for us but the majority of the town. I was waiting for a delivery from the Captiol, the foundation for the bakery was set, it was all coming true. I was re-opening the bakery, it was something that I was excited about, I couldn't wait to be able to feed the District like Katniss did. I watched her day after day and it made me a little jealous. I was so looking forward to being able to do the same.

I was sat in my kitchen, it was almost our kitchen now since Katniss spent most nights here and she had a lot of her clothes here. I just wanted to ask her to just move in but I was worried about commitment, I didn't really know what we were, I was not going to push it, I didn't want to lose her, for being too pushy. I was prepared to do this at her speed.

After about an hour, the bread that I had been baking was ready, I took it out and let it cool before wrapping it up, hoping that it would help me start to talk to Haymitch, or hopefully he would be sort of drunk so he could get through it without being embarrassed.

I coughed, cleared my throat and left the house and walked the short distance to Haymitch's house, it was the one between mine and Katniss' and it was a lot dirtier than ours because he didn't clean it, we used to have Hazelle cleaning it, part of me made a note to see if she would be able to do it again. She had recently returned to District 12 but without Gale, he was stopping in District 2, he had some big important job and whilst Katniss was healing, that was the safest place for him in my opinion.

As I walked to Haymitch's door I could hear him swearing and the honking of one for the geese, _"Get out of the house you fucking useless animal!" _I heard through the door as I knocked, _"IT'S OPEN!"_ Haymitch yelled as he slammed the back door and I opened the front door walking in with the bread wrapped and held it up for him.

"_I brought you some bread... I figured you might be hungry"_ I explained as I put it down, my palms starting to get sweaty as I felt my heart pounding, I felt like I was telling Haymitch all over again about my feelings for Katniss. Asking him to help me keep her alive, Haymitch turned around, he didn't look that drunk which was start and he clearly spotted something was up.

"_What is it Peeta... you look like you're waiting for a gong to go off or something!" _Haymitch exclaimed taking a seat on the table and pulling a chunk of bread and throwing it in his mouth, I felt myself blush furiously, Haymitch had some sort 6th sense when it came to things being up. I sighed and took a seat and played with my fingers for a moment a little stuck for words, _"well... I erm... I wanted to talk to you... about... about Katniss"_ I mumbled, I seriously needed to get a hold of myself.

Haymitch raised an eyebrow and looked at me_ "What about? I thought you two were getting on again now... I mean isn't she stopping at your house every night?"_ he smirked. It was the kind of smirk that if Katniss was here would make her blush or punch him. It was a fine line with Katniss and Haymitch. One moment they are getting along and a second later they could be ready to kill one another.

"_It's not like that! I mean yes she is but we aren't... we aren't doing that..." _I explained blushing furiously, coughing, I felt so awkward it was un-real. Haymitch was like a father figure to me and Katniss, it was so weird talking to him about her.

"_Why not? I mean you're both teenagers and hormones and what not!_" he added, now looking around for a bottle of that white liquor he seemed to favour, he spotted one and got up making his way over to it and saw the sheepish expression on my face as he seemed to realise what it was I was wanting to talk to him about... _"Oh bloody hell. You don't know what you're doing do you? I mean you're a boy Peeta! Surely you have some instincts!" _Haymitch said, still smirking as he took a long swig from his drink, he seemed almost like he was enjoying making me feel uncomfortable.

I shifted on my seat and coughed _"Well... we've done... stuff but... I mean, I was 13 when my dad had that talk with me and my brothers... I am pretty sure everything they talked about was just bollocks... I know... stuff but I mean... it's Katniss!"_ I said defensively back at Haymitch.

Haymitch nodded and took another swig of the drink and sat down in the seat opposite me _"I get what you mean..." _it was now his turn to look uncomfortable, he wanted to help but Katniss was like a daughter almost now so it had to be weird for him. He took a deep sigh and looked at me _"Right I am only going to say this once so you better pay attention" _ he said simply looking right at me. He was so uncomfortable but I had to appreciate what he was doing.

"_Katniss is not someone you want to rush, if you're being... intimate... just... make sure she...you know... finishes, the last thing you want is to leave her un-satisfied._" I nodded and opened my mouth to speak _"Don't interrupt me!"_ he said and I raised my hands up defensively.

"_Katniss is worried about pregnancy and kids so if you happen to get in –that- situation, make sure you're protected. Let Katniss come to you, let her tell you when she is ready and don't rush things boy. I am not going to tell you what to do, if you're unsure as to what to do... ask her. Katniss will tell you what she does and doesn't like. Do the same with her. Just be honest with one another."_

He sighed and took another long drawl from his bottle, obviously he was finished and needed to remember that he had just said that and I just nodded, taking in what he had said, I felt so awkward right now. More so than before because it was a lot to take in and was basically what I had been told when I was 13 and from my brothers, I cleared my throat and nodded "_Thanks Haymitch... it... it was helpful... just... don't tell Katniss I asked okay?" _Haymitch nodded and then the door opened, causing him to topple off his chair and me to jump with fright as Katniss walked in with a large bowl.

I blushed furiously and stared at my feet as Katniss looked around, I really wanted to laugh at Haymitch and Katniss certainly did as she spotted Haymitch. "_You both look like I've just frightened the life out of you... what did you think I was someone here to rob you or something Haymitch?" _She asked amused as she walked over and put the tub on the table, "_From Sae. She's made you some Rabbit stew."_ She explained to him as I composed myself, I just looked up as she leaned over and kissed my cheek whilst Haymitch picked himself up.

"_Thanks for that Sweetheart... She's a gem"_ he said lifting the lid of the stew and sniffed.

Katniss smiled at me and I took her hand, _"We'll leave you to the drink and geese shall we?"_ she said and Haymitch nodded _"Thanks for that Sweetheart. Enjoy your evening" _he smirked, it was pointed at me, I knew it and it caused me to blush as Katniss looked at me and lead me out of his house.

"_What was that about?"_ she asked curiously, I shook my head and kissed her cheek "_it was nothing Katniss. Just Haymitch being drunk as usual."_ And she smiled and rested her head on my shoulder, she looked so content and happy.

I had a lot to do now, take it what Haymitch had said and make it real. Make Katniss as happy as I could, like she was making me just being here.


	10. Chapter 10: Johanna

**Okay I am returning to Katniss POV for this chapter, I am trying to figure out what to do now so I apologise if this chapter is a bit weak compared to the rest.**

**I am having Johanna in this chapter a little, I am having her and Katniss as sort of PenPals, writing to one another as a way to heal. This chapter is a smidge of that from Johanna's side which should give me somewhere to go with it.**

**Anyway, I also plan to have a bit of a conversation between Katniss and Johanna similar to that last chapter, and possibly a Haymitch centric chapter if people think it is a good idea. Reviews are welcome as are ideas. :) **

******I have just looked at the stats for this story, over 11,000 hits! WOW guys really! It is great to see so many people reading this story just... I only have less than 40 reviews... Please please please review this more, I love getting them but the amount of reviews compares to hits is kinda low and is making me wonder if I am doing something wrong... Please review more if you like this story I would love to know! I would love to know what people to think and if any one has ideas!**

**Anyway I shall stop rambling so you can enjoy. I hope!**

Chapter 10:

Katniss POV.

It had been a strange week since I had walked in on Haymitch and Peeta and saw their strange reaction, I still hadn't figured what it was they were talking about. Peeta didn't mention it that evening nor has he since. I just figure if it was important he would tell me.

It was a beautiful spring morning today and Peeta had left early to go to the bakery, the foundations where laid and it was ready to start rebuilding so Peeta had left to oversee the starting of the building, he practically had a skip in his step this morning when he left.

I was planning to go hunting that morning but that changed when I heard the letter box on Peeta's front door and I saw a letter there addressed to me.

It was perfectly clear to me who the letter was from, it was Johanna's writing, it was scruffy yet neat which always amused the hell out me, it had since I had received the first letter all those months ago. We had a writing friendship with the occasional phone call but it was nice to have someone to write to, we were almost like each other's therapists, writing to one another helped. It was like the war gave me someone close to a sister, it still hurt that I had lost Prim in the war but I was happy in a strange way that I had found Johanna in the process.

I sat on the kitchen and ripped the letter open and smiled as I read:

"_**Hey up Katty!**_

_**Just kidding I know you hate that. **_

_**Anyway I hoping this letter finds you okay since I have sent it to Peeta's. I am assuming that you're still there and you've not fucked up and returned to your own address... if you have and you're reading this in your own house, GO TALK TO HIM. Though I am sure you're not that stupid to let him go now you've figured out what your feelings.**_

_**Part of me thinks I should send Haymitch some booze to thank him for making you see sense Katniss. Anyone could tell how made for each other you and Peeta are. Even a blind man could.**_

_**Things in District 7 are so boring, we're just working at rebuilding, the woods are nice though, you should come visit at some point. You'd be amazed I think, or I'd hope so.**_

_**I made a bit of a leap today, I managed to have a bath without having a freak out. My therapist is proud of me, I swear he's such a poncey sod.**_

_**A shower was a big leap for me, a bath is nothing. How are things with you and Peeta? Any juicy dirty details you wanna share to your sex-deprived new best friend?**_

_**Speaking of Best Friends... Gale was here last week. He seemed to miss you, I said I would pass on his Hello but I am sure your eyes have passed over what I have just written to the point it was pretty much a waste of paper. PAY ATTENTION KATNISS.**_

_**Anyway, this is a lot to write but I miss you. Yep you read right girl on fire. I miss your face. I swear I need some excitement in my life.**_

_**If you're not busy, and "Lover Boy" doesn't mind can I come visit? If Peeta is reading this, I don't mean it in a bad way, I am just teasing you. **_

_**Anyway, send me gossip and dirty details of yours and Peeta's life. I need entertainment and I am forced to rely on you Katniss. Don't let me down.**_

_**Johanna x**_

I couldn't help but chuckle as I read through the letter, Johanna always amused me when she wrote and I couldn't help but blush at the her request for dirty details, I hadn't even told her anything that had happened other than that me and Peeta were sharing a bed and practically living together.

She was wrong about one thing, reading Gale's name, I felt anger and longing bubbling up, I missed Gale, I was also still angry with him for what had happened, that doubt would always be there and taint our friendship, I could never forgive for maybe inventing the bomb that ended my sister's life. No one was sure, with Coin dead we would never know. I was however adamant that I would ignore this.

I missed Johanna, as much as I loved Peeta and could tolerate Haymitch from time to time, I found myself for the first time, craving some female companionship, my old companions, Prim and Madge were gone and I was left with just the boys. I loved the idea of Johanna visiting, I could show her the woods and maybe even the lake, it would be nice.

I would have to speak to Peeta about it, since I was practically stopping at his Johanna would either have to stop here, with us or I would have to go back to my own house for the week or however long she was visiting for but I wanted to see her.

I gathered my things and kept the letter tight in my hand as I put my father's old hunting jacket on and started the walk to the town from Victor's Village, it was normally a 30 minute walk to the town but today, because I was happy it took me 20 minutes.

Once in the town I could see the changes that were taking place, Greasy Sae had opened a cafe called "The Hob" which made me smile, I would supply her with as much meat as I could carry, it was she and Rooba that I would hunt for now, the old Hob was transformed and was now a market, or would be when more people arrive. It was almost a different district.

I could see Peeta working hard, moving bricks and talking with the builders, it took me a moment to realise that he was shirtless in the warmth of the spring day, I couldn't believe how beautiful he was, even though he was sweating. I walked over to him and he noticed me almost immediately, putting down his brick he waved at me as I reached him he jumped down and kissed my cheek _"Hello beautiful, what brings you this way today?" _his smile nearly knocking me off my feet.

"_I got a letter from Johanna today"_ I said smiling at him, it was strange being able to talk to him just like this, to be away from cameras especially when he kissed my cheek, I was expecting camera's to appear but they didn't. This was real, this was us. Peeta smiled and looked curiously at me, _"Oh? What did she say?" _he asked.

"_She was just catching me up, but she's asked if she can come stop for a bit... I figured it was best to ask you since we practically live together now"_ I smiled, he chuckled at my words, I was right and the words did warm my heart a little, the idea of me and Peeta living together officially actually excited me a little but I didn't say anything. I didn't want to push it.

Peeta waved off a shout from someone over the other side of the bakery, something about Peeta needing to look at something. _"I think it would be brilliant for Johanna to come and stop, there is enough rooms in the house if she wants to stop with us"_ I could see in his face that he was avoiding bringing up something about us living together but this was enough to make me smile brightly at him and forgetting myself for a moment I kissed him softly on the lips as a thank you.

I lingered against his lips a little too long until I heard the wolf-whistles and caterwauls from his work mates, I blushed and pulled away _"Thank you, I will write to her and let her know it is okay. You get back to work and I will see you tonight" _I smiled and Peeta kissed my cheek.

"_See you tonight beautiful_" he smiled and walked back over to where he was being shouted from. I turned and walked back to Peeta's house in the Victor's Village, excited to write to Johanna.

Female company for a change, it was something to look forward to. As I walked all I could think about was the idea of me and Peeta living together officially. It would be a big step for me but maybe I was ready.


	11. Chapter 11: Mellark's Bakery

**Right I am suffering a little from writer's block so I apologise in advance if this chapter is a little weak, I needed something to do and I didn't want to just run straight with Johanna's visit as I am still planning things for that.**

**I am also updating this earlier than I had planned as I have just finished chapter 13. The next two chapters are a bit longer so taking my time writing them.  
**

**Thank you for the more reviews, I am sooo close to 50 and would LOVE to get to 50. If I get to 50 before next week I will post the next chapter earlier, otherwise you're looking at about a week!  
**

**I am going for a little bit of an angsty chapter this time I think and possibly swapping POV... we shall see.**

**If you have any ideas or requests or thoughts about Gale let me know! I would love to hear from you. My Private message box is always open!**

** Katniss POV **

It was only a few weeks until my birthday, it wasn't too far away and I had no idea what I was going to do when it did come around, I didn't really want to celebrate it but I am pretty sure that Peeta and Haymitch would not just let me have a day to do nothing. It wasn't something I was looking forward to as I wasn't able to share my birthday with my sister or my mum. It was a day that would be a totally new day, new experience for me and it didn't seem like something I wanted to do in a hurry. I was just hoping that I would be able to avoid mentioning it to Peeta and that he, in return, wouldn't mention it to me.

I had been awake a little while and Peeta had already left for work that morning, most of the bakery was built now, the structure was about up and it was bigger than it was previously, it seemed to make Peeta happier that he was closer to opening the shop and being able to do something productive. I was a little jealous that Peeta had something but I was getting things ready for Johanna's visit, she was to visit the week after my birthday and I was so excited to see her. We had been in regular correspondence and we'd spoken on the phone on several occasions making plans for when she was here. It was giving me something to look forward to.

I had started making lunch when I had finished cleaning the kitchen, Peeta had stopped taking food to work as I would make him something for lunch, take it down and we should have lunch together, it was something that I looked forward to and it helped me improve my awful cooking skills, each day I made something different and tried to change things up. Some days it worked but sometimes it didn't. Today I had made some soup, it was something simple, Katniss roots, left over Rabbit and other vegetables and I was quite proud of it.

I put the soup in some containers and some of the rolls that Peeta had left in the house, it would be a nice lunch together. I put the things in my game bag and headed out to meet Peeta at work.

** Peeta POV **

It was nearly lunch and I was excited to see Katniss, I had been working hard all morning and my leg was starting to hurt, the prosthetic was rather annoying, all the lifting and moving I had done had cause the leg to irritate and rub. I wanted to take it off but it wasn't an option when I was almost done with the construction of my bakery. It was heart-warming and heart wrenching, every brick was a memory for my family even if I didn't like them, well most of them, I was remembering them by rebuilding the bakery that had stood in District 12 for generations.

I looked at my co-workers and shouted that it was time to take a break and watched as everyone stopped their tasks and went for lunch. Most people didn't stop around for lunch, they would go home, it was too far of a walk for me to walk back to the village but with Katniss coming here for me it was always the highlight of my day, other than returning to our house, it wasn't officially "ours" I just thought of it as "ours" because she was practically living at my home now, I didn't like it when she wasn't there, it was so much better with her there.

Everything was much better with her there, I still couldn't believe my luck and every –time she told me she loved me I would feel my heart swell and bang loudly against my chest because now I knew it was real, it wasn't for show, she loved me like I loved her and right now that was all I needed, one day I still hoped that she would want marriage and kids, I wasn't going to push her though, it was going to be her decision, I had hoped one day she would love me back and I got that so I was hopeful.

It didn't take long for me to spot Katniss walking into the town, her bag on her shoulders and her hair in her trademark plait, she smiled as she saw me and I smiled brightly back at her, she looked so beautiful and I felt like the luckiest man in the world as she got to me and kissed me on the cheek with a "_Hello"._

**Katniss POV **

I smiled at Peeta as I kissed his cheek greeting him, _"I brought soup for lunch I hope you don't mind"_ I smiled and handed the bag to him and I watched as he put his head into the bag and gave me a muffled _"That's brilliant Katniss. I am starving"_ I laughed at how silly he looked pretty much wearing my game bag on his head, he emerged a minute later with the cartons in his hand, and the bread. His hair was standing up a little and he looked like a bit of a mess, and I couldn't help myself laughing as he put the food down and flattened his hair and he looked at me amused as I laughed, _" I didn't look that silly.." _He said as I finished laughing and took a seat on the wall next to him.

We sat and ate for a little in silence, it was what we normally did, we were both used to eating for a little while in silence, habit from when we were much hungrier, times which seemed almost like another life time ago. It took til I was almost finished my soup before I thought of something to say and I turned to Peeta, _"How is the building going? Nearly done?"_ I asked curious. I hadn't actually had a look around the site yet, I hadn't asked which was part of the reason, probably and I didn't want to bother Peeta when he was at work nor did I want to ask him when he was home after work.

Peeta nodded and smiled _"I think we are nearly done... just a bit left I think, what used to be the house..."_ he said, I could hear the sadness in his voice and I put my hand over his and squeezed it, _"Do you want to have a look around?"_ he asked, I looked a little shocked for a moment, I hadn't expected him to offer but I nodded once I was over the shock, _"I would love to Peeta" _I smiled warmly and closed the carton of my soup and stood up, Peeta followed suit and took my hand when he stood up.

It made my heart flutter a little when he took my hand, I didn't have to feel embarrassed or worry cause there was camera's around, it was the first time in a long time I felt relieve, Peeta and I were real, there was no cameras around, it was just us.

Peeta lead me around the building and I smiled, it was brilliant to see his face light up in pride at the building he had helped create and re-build, "_it is amazing Peeta, it reminds me so much of the old bakery but bigger... it is brilliant._" I gave his hand a squeeze again as we arrived at the last building site, it was the part that had been his home, I could see the old spot from where he had thrown me the bread, I could remember that moment clearly and I looked up at Peeta, I could see that he was remembering it also, I didn't know his side of that story yet, did he deliberately throw the bread in the fire, took that hit across the face for me in order to feed me and my family. I didn't know what had happened that evening from his point of view.

We had stopped walking and as I looked up at Peeta I could see that he had frozen, worry crossed me as I looked at him, _"Peeta?" _I asked, worry through my voice. I dropped his hand and took a step back hoping it wasn't what I was starting to fear, I was hoping it wasn't a flash back... he hadn't had one for months now, both of us hadn't been here and people knew our story, it was possible that the Captiol had hijacked that memory of him.

Peeta looked at me, I could see the dark black in his eyes, I could see him fighting the hold, I had seen it once before and it frightened me, I took a step back again as Peeta spoke _"Katniss... you... you need to go!"_ I could hear the strain on his voice which confirmed my worst fear.

Peeta was having a flashback.

**A/N: Don't kill me for a cliff-hanger. I promise to make it up to you! It was just getting a bit long and I knew this next chapter would be huge as well. I didn't want to make it too long so people would lose interest! **

**To be continued!**


	12. Chapter 12: Flashback

**HOLY MOTHER OF CR*P. I did NOT expect that response nor did I expect to get over the 50 review mark in less than 24 hours! You guys are the best! As promised! An update!  
**

**I only have one more chapter pre-written so it will be the weekend before I post but it is making me wanna write more for you! This is my longest chapter to date!  
**

**Okay so this one is going to be a bit more angst... **

**I am going to try something a little different with this chapter so please bare with me, I have no idea if it is actually going to work or not. **

**Thank you all for your continued support! It means the world to me!**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

Chapter 12

** Peeta POV **

I could feel myself loosing grip on what was going on around me, one minute I had been holding Katniss' hand looking upon the area in which I used to live, I was starting to remember that day with the bread. How I had seen Katniss out in the rain, soaking to the bone, looking at how skinny she was, listening to my mother ranting about her rummaging through the bins when everything swirled and it started to go black.

I could hear Katniss' voice speaking my name, I could hear the panic in her voice, I looked at her, I could see in her face that she was starting to get frightened and I didn't want to hurt her, I couldn't always keep a hold of myself when I lost grip on reality, it would pass soon enough, it always did, with that in mind I struggled to speak _"Katniss... you... you need to go!"_ I said, stress in every syllable of my words. I needed her to go. I didn't want her to see me like this. The last time I had lost control around her properly I tried to hurt her and I didn't want to do that again.

I didn't look at Katniss again as I took a seat and thread my fingers into my hair the way Dr Aurelis had taught me, in an attempt to keep a hold of myself and reality, it put pressure on my brain letting me keep control over myself instead of losing it and frightening everyone around me.

It wasn't working through, it wasn't working, I could feel the darkness that the flashbacks brought crashing in on me. I was starting to remember a distorted memory of that evening.

It was showing Katniss rummaging through our family bins, she didn't look weak or vunerable like I used to think, she looked feral and wild, her hair all over the place. She didn't look human, she looked like a Mutt...

** Katniss POV **

I stood there blinking in shock as I watched Peeta sink to his knees and start pulling on his hair. I hadn't moved, I hadn't said anything as Peeta pulled on his hair, it was clear to me that Peeta was trying to keep a hold of reality. I didn't know what to do.

I was scared but I didn't want to leave him here, I was fighting two extremely strong instincts right now, like I had that day I found him by the lake during the first games. I wanted to run away into the woods and wait for the horror to be over but I wanted to stop, I had to be strong for Peeta. He would do the same for me. He would stop.

I crouched down very carefully, very slowly so not to startle Peeta who had now started to shake, I had no idea what horrible memory the Captiol had put in his mind instead of what had happened that day, instead of the truth, I had no idea how much danger I would be in and there wasn't exactly anyone around if he was to get violent. I shuddered a little as I remembered our meeting again after they rescued him from the Capitol, I remembered how I had opened my arms for a hug from him, expecting a sweet reunion, having started to sort my own feelings out, instead I was greeted with his hands around my throat.

I rubbed my throat carefully as I moved an inch forward and very carefully put my hand out and touched Peeta's knee.

It was almost as if my touch burned him, he jerked away from me with a start, _"Katniss... you need to leave! NOW!_" he shouted at me. I shook my head and refused to move. It was either stupidity, bravery or something completely different that made me get up and walk closer to him again. _"Peeta it's not real! None of it is real!" _I said to him as he bawled his hands up on his hair again, his palms covering his ears trying to block out my voice, it would have hurt if I didn't know different.

"_NO! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" _he shouted, he was letting the flashback win, he was struggling to hold on, _"IT'S YOUR FAULT THEY'RE GONE!"_ he yelled at me. I shook my head and walked closer to him again holding my hands out in a way to prove that I wasn't going to hurt him.

"_Peeta..._" I spoke with a careful gentle tone, _"It wasn't my fault... it wasn't I swear. It's not real. It was the Capitol. Please fight it... Please."_ I walked closer to him, each step I took he took a step backwards until he was up against a wall. I could see his fists now by his side balled up and tight white, I had only seen him in this state a few times before and both times he had broken things, a vase, a chair etc. I was frightened and my flight or fight sense was now in overdrive. It was my love for Peeta that kept me moving and stopped me running away.

I took the chance whilst he wasn't yelling or moving to move closer to him once again, he was stuck so he couldn't move, I didn't even try to reach out and touch him as my brain made what was either the best decision at the time, or the most stupid decision ever and I moved so quickly to place my lips against Peeta's and kissed him softly and purposefully, to show him that what was in his mind wasn't real.

His reaction was immediate, he jerked away from me and slipped on a brick and landed on the floor with a thud and when he landed he must have hurt himself but he ignored it, he pulled his legs to his chest and clung to them for what could only have been for dear life and started to rock on the spot.

This sight broke my heart, I had seen my mother like this after the death of my father and it had been so hard to keep going but now Peeta needed me and I was determined to do this, I crouched down again and not touching him, I sat in front of him like I had in the Captiol, repeating the words I hoped would bring him back to me.

"_Your name is Peeta Mellark, you're 18 years old from District 12. You're a baker and a painter. We both survived two Hunger Games. You're rebuilding your family bakery. I didn't kill them, they died in the bombs from the Capitol. Your favourite colour is Orange, but not bright orange. Orange like the sunset, You never take sugar in your tea. You've loved me since you were 5 years old and the first day of school. I love you too Peeta. I love you so much and I need you to come back to me... Please Peeta. It is not real what you're thinking. This is real, everything I am saying. We're real Peeta... please come back to me"_

Every word caused my heart to pound, I was fighting tears as I sat next to him looking at him, I was determined to bring him back to me, my mind was reeling as I was thinking of things that I could do, I needed to bring him back to me. I could see that Peeta was still fighting it, he was mumbling so quiet to himself that I couldn't work out the words he was saying, his hands were still in a ball, they weren't as white but I needed something else. I didn't know what else to say to him.

What I had to do came over me in such a way that it hit me in the face, I didn't need to s_ay_ anything, I needed to something else. I wracked my brains for the words before I sat opposite him and opened my mouth and began to sing

"_Deep in the meadow, under the willow  
A bed of grass, a soft green pillow  
Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes  
And when again they open, the sun will rise._ "

I looked up at Peeta as I paused, hoping it would help, I could hear that he stopped mumbling so I continued, determined to bring him back to me...

"_Here it's safe, and here it's warm  
Here the daisies guard you from every harm  
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true  
Here is the place where I love you._

_Deep in the meadow, hidden far away  
A cloak of leaves, A moonbeam ray  
Forget your woes and let your troubles lay  
And when again it's morning, they'll wash all away._

_Here it's safe, and here it's warm  
Here the daisies guard you from every harm  
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true  
Here is the place where I love you._ "

As I finished singing I looked up wiping way the tear on my face, Peeta's hands had unclenched and he was shaking but I knew the worse was over, I could hear the few birds in the area pick up my song as I moved closer to Peeta putting my hands on his knees..._"Peeta?" _I asked tentatively, waiting for him to lift his head back up for me...

** Peeta POV **

Fighting it was becoming harder and harder, each pounding of my heart was causing blood to rush between my ears blurring out the outside world, the memory that was overtaking me now was consuming me, I couldn't fight it anymore as I was almost forced to watch, or relive the death of my parents, watching everyone from the district die, watching my friends, my brothers, my parents all go up in flames. It was this that caused me to shout, shouting accusations at Katniss, telling her it was her fault, though part of my brain was arguing, I couldn't fight it anymore, the darkness was overtaking and resistance was futile.

Everything was shiny, it was like I was watching it through a screen at the Captiol, I was trying to fight it like I fought my nightmares, wondering if I had fallen asleep, I had no idea that Katniss was walking up to me, I had no idea what was going on around me, it was almost as if I had fallen into a deep sleep but I was conscious in the real world.

I had no control over my body anymore, the images crossing my mind were all I was able to consume and concentrate on, the fact that I was taking a step back or my hands were balled up in tight fists were not registering with my brain.

I was watching the images of everyone I knew and loved die, I was watching people be tortured, I was remembering the screams of Johanna being electrocuted in the cell next to me and when I felt something press against my lips I jerked in shock thinking it was the same which caused me to regain some of my mind which allowed me to curl up in a ball, like I used to in my cell as I fought the poisons, fought the venom and prayed for the end.

The images continued to go through my mind and changed as they went, I watched Cinna die, it was on a screen, it wasn't like Portia, it wasn't like the team that looked after me, I saw them being tortured in front of me by Cinna... Cinna whom I had trusted with Katniss' life, with my own and my secrets, he was tortured in front of me as I heard vague words working their way through into my mind...

"_Your name is Peeta Mellark, you're 18 years old from District 12. You're a baker and a painter. We both survived two Hunger Games. You're rebuilding your family bakery. I didn't kill them, they died in the bombs from the Capitol. Your favourite colour is Orange, but not bright orange. Orange like the sunset, You never take sugar in your tea. You've loved me since you were 5 years old and the first day of school. I love you too Peeta. I love you so much and I need you to come back to me... Please Peeta. It is not real what you're thinking. This is real, everything I am saying. We're real Peeta... please come back to me"_

I couldn't work out where they were coming from, the part of my brain that was fighting was screaming for Katniss, it was wanting Katniss to come through, but the venomous side was strong, it was screaming "_MUTT, KILL IT!_" I was now arguing with myself quietly, I had learned to do this when I was in 13, so I wasn't injected anymore, quietly fighting with myself so no one would hear... then I heard it. The words that I had heard once before coming through the venom, loud, clear and filling me with hope. Hope that this torture might soon be over.

"_Deep in the meadow, under the willow  
A bed of grass, a soft green pillow  
Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes  
And when again they open, the sun will rise._ "

Each word, each note was resonating through me, like the first rain in spring, the first dandelion that appeared as the spring months fell and the first chirping of a new born bird, it was filling me with hope and allowing me to fight off the voices, each word bringing my back to myself,

"_Here it's safe, and here it's warm  
Here the daisies guard you from every harm  
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true  
Here is the place where I love you._

_Deep in the meadow, hidden far away  
A cloak of leaves, A moonbeam ray  
Forget your woes and let your troubles lay  
And when again it's morning, they'll wash all away._

_Here it's safe, and here it's warm  
Here the daisies guard you from every harm  
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true  
Here is the place where I love you._ "

As the song finished, I was now able to register the pain in my leg, the pain in my backside and the solid wall behind me and in front of me. I didn't dare peel myself away from my curl up state, frightened of what I might see around me, frightened that I might have hurt her.

It was obviously who had been singing to me, I had heard the pause in the air of the birds before they picked up the song, whistling the tune that Katniss had sung so beautifully, the song that had first made me fall in love with her.

I felt a small pressure on my knee, the gentleness of Katniss' worried touch, I didn't know how much time had passed, nor how much I had frightened her, I just prayed that she wasn't hurt because of me, I remember Delly telling me that I had tried to wring Katniss' neck the first time we were reunited after the 2nd Games and I would never forgive myself if I had hurt her again.

I could hear the worry, the gentleness and the patience in Katniss' voice as she spoke my name, it took everything, every little ounce of strength I had to move, I winced as I felt the pain in my leg and I hadn't even moved that much. I lifted my head and unclenched my fists, taking my nails out of my skin, feeling the first few fresh droplets of blood forming on my palms from the tight grip I had help as I lifted my head.

I opened my eyes and all I was aware of was the beautiful, tear-filled Gray eyes of the woman in front of me, reflecting back to me what that her song and words had given me.

Hope.

Looking directly back at her, my voice shaky I spoke her name with such delicacy and gentleness so not to scare her again after all the shouting... _"Katniss"._

**A/N: SORRY! Cliff-hanger again! It was just getting UBER long. This is my longest chapter yet... I got a bit engrossed! TO BE CONTINUED I PROMISE!**


	13. Chapter 13: Thank you

**Sorry for the cliffhanger!**

**This will again be from both points of view and possibly get a little lemony, we shall see shall we :P**

**I am sorry but you're looking a week again probably for an update. Though, my next chapter is my longest chapter to date, I may update earlier if i get enough Reviews :P  
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**Anyway... enjoy!  
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**Katniss POV**

I had to blink a few times, since I had that temporary loss of hearing in the first games I was always wary that I had missed things, I was sure I had heard Peeta's voice, heard his name speaking my name but I wasn't sure, I was now looking directly in his blue eyes, they had returned to his normal colour, I could see my own grey eyes, filled with tears reflected back at me.

I heard Peeta say my name once again and I didn't even think about my next move I just flung myself forward and wrapped my arms around his neck keeping myself close to him, _"Oh Peeta... thank you... thank you"_ I whispered as I buried my face in his neck, I was just happy that he had returned he had come back to me.

** Peeta POV**

It was as if the world went quiet and stopped for a few moments whilst I looked back at Katniss, my own heart still thumping against my chest as I came down from the awful heights that was the flashback, the doctors tried to explain to me that the come down from flashback was like someone coming off a high from Morphling or other drugs which were illegal and rare within out country. I didn't agree, not that I had ever taken drugs other than Morphling for my leg, the come down felt like being hit repeatedly over the head with a huge iron club, it was awful.

After a moment's silence I felt Katniss throw her arms around me, causing me to wince, it was now that I could feel the pain in my leg, my back, pelvis and head as Katniss' arms went around me, I instinctively wrapped my arms around her and held her close to me rubbing her arms.

I could hear the words she was muttering at me against my skin, I felt awful, I didn't know if I had hurt her, had I hit her? Had I scared her? Her words confused me, I pulled away from her a little and looked at her with confusion, _"What are you thanking me for?" _I asked, highly confused. She looked at me, the tears not sparkling so much now, she was smiling a little at me, _"You came back to me"_ she said.

My mouth formed a little "o" in comprehension and I leaned forward and kissed her forehead "_always"_

**Katniss POV**

I smiled as he muttered that word to me again, it always made my heart warm to know that he was there, to know that he would always come back to me.

As he pulled away from me, I took his hand into my own and kissed it, I was worried that he had hurt his leg or hurt himself when he slipped, _"Are you okay Peeta? Do you hurt anywhere?"_ I ask him tentatively, watching to make sure that he doesn't try to lie to me.

I could see the light flash of pain in his eyes as he moves his legs carefully, he moved gently and he winced, _"Yeh... I think I've hurt the leg with the prosthetic, it had been griping me all day... the fall has made it worse." _He explained, his face very pale now, I couldn't see blood which was a good thing but I hated to see him in pain.

"_Wait here for a second, and DON'T move" _I tell him as I kiss his forehead and get up and run off quickly to where I know his work mates have their lunch. I didn't know them very well but I knew that they were from District 12 and 13, I spotted Paul the guy from 12 who Peeta had known since a child and ran over to him. I must have looked a little wild with worry because as soon as I got there Paul perked up, _"Katniss! Is Peeta okay? Is everything okay?" _He asked, he knew about Peeta's flashbacks and everything else as he had to deal with on the first day they worked on the bakery.

"_He's fine... now. Well he's not. He had a flashback... but he's okay now!"_ I add when I see the worry and concern on his face as he and Jack rose to go and mediate the situation and calm Peeta down, they sat down again _"He's hurt his leg so I am going to take him home. Will you be okay for the rest of the day without him?" _

I know they won't mind but I had to ask, I saw Paul and Jack nod in unison _"Of course Katniss, take him home and don't let him come back tomorrow either. We have the plans, make sure he is better before you let him come back to work okay?" _Paul said with Jack nodding in unison. I smiled _"Thanks guys" _

I said goodbye to Paul and Jack and ran back over to Peeta, _"We're going home Peeta. No arguments, Paul and Jack have agreed" _I tell him as I lean down to him to help get him up.

**Peeta POV**

As Katniss leaned over to help me get up, I gave her a brief kiss on the cheek as I wrapped my arms around her neck, I was so lucky to have Katniss in my life, _"Thank you Katniss"_ I muttered into her ear, I knew this walk back to the house, back to the village was going to be difficult, it was going to hurt but I had Katniss for support which was the main thing.

It took a few attempts for Katniss to help me get up, though I wasn't still at the same size as I was before I entered the Hunger Games for the first, or the second time for that matter, I was still a lot bigger than her and her first attempt caused her to topple onto me. I had to laugh at it because it was funny because she had missed headbutting me in the crotch by a matter of inches, when she had managed to get herself up she was blushing furiously and I was having to remove thoughts of Katniss' head in my crotch, both with no clothes on because I didn't need to get a hard-on now, it was not the right time to get those thoughts in my head.

After 4 attempts she managed to get me to my feet and she supported me with her arm, letting me lean on her, _"Are you okay?"_ She asked when I winced, the pain in my leg was actually worse than I thought and I just needed to get it off, I need to get the leg off and rub the cream into the stump that was the end of my actual leg. _"I'm fine... I just... need to get back and get this off"_

With that we set off, her holding me up, supporting me as we walked slowly back to the village and to my home, which might as well as been our home. It was, under normal circumstances, a 15 minute walk from the village to town, but today, it took us almost an hour to arrive back at my front door. By the time we had arrived my leg was killing, the pain was almost unbearable and I let go of Katniss and slummed against the door to get the keys out but Katniss' hands stopped me. _"I'll do it." _She said and she slid her hands into my front pocket to get the keys out before I had a chance to respond to her.

I had to bite on my lip and concentrate on the pain in my leg to not let my more basic instincts take over the moment, Katniss' hand was so close to my cock it was unreal and it was taking everything I had to not let myself think about that. Within seconds she had the keys in her hand and I let out the breath that I hadn't realised I had been holding as she unlocked the door pushing it open, _"Thank you"_ I muttered to her again as she took my arms and helped me into the house and into the living room. _"You need to stand up for a second so we can get your trouser's off before I can do anything about your leg"_ she said, her tone was apologetic, like she was hurting me by making me stand up.

"_it's fine Katniss, I know"_ I replied to her and I went to undo my own trousers but Katniss' hands had beaten me to it and she was unfastening my trousers for me. Part of me couldn't help but wonder if she was doing this on purpose, trying to tease me. I didn't close my eyes as I looked down as she pushed my trousers off, I was now aware I was holding my breath, I was aware of just how close her hands here and how close her head was as she lowered herself with my trousers. I was running none sexy thoughts through my mind, Haymitch in a bikini, being head butted in the nuts by my little brother, anything to keep my cock from reacting.

Finally my trousers where off and Katniss helped me down on the sofa, _"I'll get your leg off and then the cream, do you want anything else Peeta. A drink or anything?" _she asked me with a smile as she leant down and started to unfasten the prosthetic leg, I had shown her how to do it a long time ago when she had asked me how it was done. _"I think I'm fine for now Katniss. Thank you" _I smiled at her, not daring to add what I was thinking, what I was hoping might happen later, it had been a while since me and Katniss had done any sort of foreplay, we still hadn't had sex but that was alright, I would wait for her forever.

I was in my own little world at that point so I didn't really pay attention as to what was going on around me.

**Katniss POV**

I could see that Peeta had tune-ed out, he was in his own little world but I didn't mind, I continued to work on his prosthetic, it wasn't easy to take off, I knew it hurt him, I knew it would be better when it was off, I didn't know what was running through Peeta's head but given his reaction to me taking his trouser it was possible for me to predict, he was a boy, it was easy to guess what was running through his head.

I smiled to myself as I took his leg off, I was not going to disturb Peeta in his own little world as I headed up the stairs to grab the cream from our... his... bedroom, I needed to remember the difference, it was still his house, I had been thinking about it since Johanna's letter, I wanted to move in, I wanted to live with Peeta but I didn't want to rush things.

I headed back down into the living room, Peeta hadn't moved since I left him, I would have worried but I could see the small smile on his face so I knew he wasn't having another flashback so I started to rub the cream into the stub, hoping to alleviate some of the pain that he was feeling.

I had never put the cream on before she I just made it up as I was going along, massaging the cream into his stub and leg.

**Peeta POV**

The feel of Katniss' hands on my leg, massaging something wet into my leg I snapped me out of my world, the feel of her touching me was sending sparks through my whole body, it was like she was re-igniting the fire that was already burning for her, I looked down at her, the first I was feeling already sparkling in my eyes back as I looked at her.

She looked up from what she was doing, a little spark in her eyes, a little smirk staring on her face, she was looking at me smiling, _"is this helping?" _She asked, she had that teasing tone starting to present itself in her voice.

I nodded my head _"Yeah... it's great... you're hands are amazing Katniss."_ I blushed a little that I had just said that, I didn't mean that to come out of my mouth, I hadn't meant to say that.

Katniss smirked and removed her hands from my leg getting onto the sofa, straddling me and ran her fingers of the blush I could feel getting stronger at her touch, _"You don't need to blush at that Peeta. You never have to be embarrassed around me" _she explained as she leaned in and kissed me.

There was nothing better in the world as kissing Katniss, each time I had her lips against mine it made me hunger for more, these were my hunger games, it was my biggest weakness.

Feeling her lips against my own, I returned her kiss with as much as passion and reverence that I could before she pulled away, I tried not to pout at her, I missed the feeling of her lips against my own whenever she pulled away.

"_I love you Peeta." _She said, my heart skipped a beat like it always did whenever she said those three words. I would never ever take it for granted.

"_I love you too Katniss. So much." _I replied, running my hand over her hair which was in her simple trade mark braid.

"_Let me show you how much I love you..."_ Katniss added which caused me to blink, she hadn't said that before but she started to play with my shirt, unfastening it with a smirk on her face.

It was going to be an interesting evening.


	14. Chapter 14: Home

**I promise that I will try to stop ending with the cliffhangers.**

**There is lemon in this chapter. It got a positive reaction last time, or so I hope you all don't mind. I have read somewhere that there is a crack down on smut on the site so this might be the last more "explict" one... I might be a little less in the future we shall see.  
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**Probably jumping POVs again in this chapter, and it's a bit of comedy!  
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**I just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who had this story on alert and those who have reviewed this story, you're positive words mean the world to me and help me when I am a little stuck for ideas.**

**Ash**

**P.S Longest chapter to date surely deserves uber reviews ;P  
**

**Peeta POV**

The smirk on Katniss' face made me harder than her words had, she was so damn sexy and the smile on her face was adorable as she worked on the buttons of my shirt, letting her hands trail over the newly exposed skin as she undid one button and made her way down to the next before she had reached the very bottom of the shirt.

I had expected her to push it off before she continued but she didn't she just moved herself a little closer, leaning in to kiss me lightly on the lips, I could feel the control in the kiss, she was controlling what she was doing, she was being deliberate with each movement she was doing, it was definitely going to be an interesting evening.

**Katniss POV**

I tried not to let my hands shake as I un-fastened Peeta's shirt, I couldn't help myself as I trailed my fingers over his skin, he was so beautiful, scars and all, and I couldn't help myself, I took my time undoing the buttons, I wanted to make this memorable, I wanted to make Peeta happy, this was about him, I wanted him to know just how much I loved him.

I might not be ready for sex, ready to give myself fully to Peeta, that still scared me but I was ready to show him how much I loved him, I wanted to try something different, something I had never really given much thought about but after the day we had had, I wanted to do something for Peeta.

When I finished unfastening his shirt, instead of pushing it off, I left it there, sitting on his shirt but his abs and chest on show to me. I leaned in and kissed him carefully on the lips. I started slow, I kept control, I didn't want Peeta to take control, I didn't want him to try and make me speed up, I was determined to do this my way, at my speed and watch Peeta come undone like he had once before.

As I kissed him a let my hand roam over his chest, brushing each hand over his nipples, I could feel him stiffen a little at my touch, he had done this before, I knew how much he liked me touching him, I kept my lips on his, kissing him slowly determined not to let him make a noise at what I was doing, just yet, I had every intention of trying to tease Peeta, make this evening memorable for both of us. Not that I had any idea how I was supposed to do that.

Whilst I let my hand explore his torso I let the kiss deepen a little, I could feel the effect I was having on Peeta against my leg, I could feel just how hard he was getting and I hadn't really started doing anything. I paused pulling away from the kiss for a moment and took my t-shirt off, revealing a white lace bra that was covering my breast.

I heard a little gasp from Peeta as I revealed my chest to him, it was like he hadn't seen it before, and I took his hands which were sat carefully, unmoving from my hips and placed them on my breasts as I leaned into kiss Peeta once more.

**Peeta POV**

The sight before me was more than I could have hope for this morning when I left the house, I loved Katniss so much and watching her remove her shirt, exposing herself like that to me caused me to gasp a little, I was in awe of how beautiful she is. I had been so fearful of spooking her or making her stop that whilst she had been kissing me I had not moved my hands so Katniss picking them up and placing them on her breasts, allowing me to feel how soft and supple her skin was, even through the white lace bra was bliss, and as she pressed herself to my lips again I moaned into them, squeezing her breasts a little and feeling myself grow painfully more hard.

I didn't know what was happening or where this was leading, part of my brain, the entirely sex driven part of my brain which was starting to rear its head again was silently hoping this was leading towards sex, I was ready, I wanted to love Katniss more than anything, to show her just how beautiful and perfect she was but after the day we had, had I was doubtful, and given that part of my leg was missing I didn't exactly feel like I was "whole" enough to do that tonight but whatever Katniss wanted, I would be happy with.

I continued to keep my hands on Katniss' breasts, playing with them through the fabric as Katniss continued to control the kiss, I felt her shift slightly on my knees, straddling me like she was couldn't be comfortable for her, especially since she was still in her cargo pants and me in nothing but my boxers from which, I was sure, she would be able to see, if not feel, just how hard she was making me.

Her hands started to travel south, down across my stomach and towards the hem of my boxer shorts and I felt my breath catch a little as she carefully slid her hand underneath my shorts.

**Katniss POV**

I felt braver as I felt Peeta react so well to me taking my shirt off, his hands on my breasts was almost as good as feeling his fingers in me. It had been a few weeks since we had done that, since we had been intimate in anyway, I wanted to make up for it because I had felt Peeta every morning when he had been sleeping and I woke up before him, I felt bad because he was like that because of me but some mornings I didn't know what to do, did I wake him to help him or did I just leave him, which usually was the case, if he woke before me I don't know what he did about it, he probably took care of it, or sometimes I think he would take a cold shower, but today I wasn't going to let that happen.

I could feel Peeta getting harder as he played with my breasts and as I continued to kiss him so I let my hand travel down towards his boxers, I felt his gasp of air as I slid my hand under his boxers and took his now fully hard erection in my hand.

As I wrapped my fingers around his length, I broke the kiss, trailing a small trail of kisses of his jaw and neck before sliding off his knees, it was uncomfortable straddling him like that when I was busy with his penis in my hands. Once on the floor and on my knees in front of him I pulled his boxers off fully freeing his hard-on, seeing it stand up in all of its glory.

It scared me just how big Peeta was, I was frightened that if and when we got around to sex it would never fit inside of me, how could it, it was –huge-. I smiled up at Peeta before I wrapped my hand around him, I could see the tension in his eyes, me on my knees in front of him might have scared him a little so as I used my hand and pumped up and down on his hard penis I whispered up at him _"Just relax Peeta... just... enjoy this"_

I felt brave, it was incredible what being in this position could do to you, I had Peeta's most sensitive body part in my hand, granting him pleasure as he closed his eyes, moaning and occasionally muttering, _"Fuck... Katniss... so good."_, it was probably the only thing that spurred me on to lean forward and kiss the tip of penis, it was leaking a little white pre-cum, it didn't taste as bad as I was imagining, licking my lips once again I bobbed my head down and took his length in my mouth, letting myself get used to the feeling of him in my mouth, I heard him groan loudly, I looked up at him, his dick still in my mouth, his eyes were wide in shock as I began moving my head up and down, pleasuring him with my mouth instead of my hands.

**Peeta POV**

Katniss' hand on my dick was probably the most erotic thing I had ever come across, yes I was novice when it came to sex and things like this but it was so much better her hand being on me than my own pretending it was her, I couldn't even control the words that came out of my mouth as she continued to work her magic hands on my dick, I closed my eyes enjoying having Katniss do this to me.

I would wake most mornings with a huge hard-on, we didn't force situation's like this and if I woke before her I would usually either wank off in the bathroom or have a cold shower, but this was so much better than either.

My eyes closed lets me concentrate on what was happening when I feel an unusual sensation course through my dick, a light touch on the most sensitive part, a light kiss on my tip which causes me to swear but then, I feel my dick engulfed in a wet warmth which was constricting, which caused my eyes to fly open, surely she hadn't... but it wasn't what I was thinking.

As I looked down my eyes bugged a little going wide, Katniss had her mouth around my dick, it took all the strength I had not to cum there and then in her mouth, if I thought her hands where impressive, her mouth, it was far better, I could see the little glint of satisfaction in her eyes as she started copying her movements from her hands but with her mouth.

I had to grab on either side of the couch to stop me putting my hands in her hair, and to stop my from accidently thrusting in her mouth, I could feel her tongue wrapping itself around me, I could feel her teasing me as she bobbed.

She had reduced me to a withering mess, all I could do was swear, grunt and mumble her name, for someone who was usually good with words I failed magnificently when I had Katniss like this, I could feel myself getting closer and closer to the edge, the familiar rumbelling in my stomach that let me know I was close to cumming, I had to form words, I had to warn her, _"F...fuck... Kat... so...gonna...cum... don't wanna... mouth"_ was pretty much all I could get out but Katniss much to my shock didn't pull her head away but she started teasing my balls with her hands and sucking on me with more force, more deliberate moves.

I think it was less than 10 seconds before I came, shouting her name with a grunt and thrust upwards that I had no control over, it was without a doubt my most intensive orgasm ever and see Katniss straighten up, having just swallowed my seed nearly caused me to cum all over again but instead I just gasped, breathing heavily, _"Fuck... that was so... wow"_

**Katniss POV**

Seeing Peeta come undone like that because me and my mouth was empowering, I started trying things, swirling my tongue around his length sucking hard and then soft, the words he was mumbling and grunting spurring me on, his mumble that he was close didn't make me pull away like I had thought, I wanted to taste him, so I placed my hands on his balls and played with them, trying to see if it helped as I started to suck harder and faster.

I felt him shudder as he began to cum, I had no idea what to do with it but with the force that Peeta was coming undone in my mouth made me swallow his seed, I had always expected it to taste awful, at least that was what I had heard as "playground" talk from those who were older than me in school but Peeta didn't, he tasted quite nice actually.

I smiled up at him as I released him from my mouth as he muttered "_Fuck... that was so... wow" _at me. I smirked at little, my boy with the bread was sat, sweating and pretty much naked expect from his shirt.

"_I'm glad you liked it"_ I said as I stood up and being very careful as to wear I sat, sat on his lap again wiping away the errant hair that was on his face.

"_Like it? That was the best thing... ever..."_ he said with a smile which made me blush a little and giggle nervously, which was a new thing for me. I never giggled. I guess sitting with no shirt on around a bottomless boy was bound to that to me eventually._ "What made you... why did you..?"_ Peeta started to ask, I couldn't help but be amused that he was still unable to form a co-herent sentence.

"_I just felt like I wanted to do something different for you..."_I answered honestly as Peeta pulled me a little closer to him and he pressed his lips to my and kissed me softly.

**Peeta POV**

Katniss words, wanting to do something different for me turned me on all over, it made me want to do something special for her so I leaned in and kissed her, starting softly before starting to pick it a little, deepening it and picking up the speed that it kissed her with.

The position we were sat in was not the best so I carefully picked her up, minding that I only had one leg now and kneeled onto the floor with my good knee, putting her carefully on the floor below me, she had more clothes on than me, she had her bra and cargo pants on, I just had my shirt on and my arse was on show to the world but I didn't mind at that moment as I lay on top of Katniss, carefully so not to squash her and started to kiss her again, letting my hand run over her.

I continued to kiss her and broke away to kiss along her jaw when we both heard it.

-THUMP

-THUMP

Then a huge crash as Haymitch came through the door which we had forgotten to lock.

I don't know who was more shocked in that moment.

Haymitch was clearly not as drunk as he would normally have been as he found us after a scan of the room, neither me nor Katniss had time to move as Haymitch covered his eyes with a dramatic "_MY EYES! SERIOUSLY IT IS 2 IN THE AFTERNOON!"_

If I was the colour of a tomato I would have laughed. Katniss was the same, she had turned scarlet as I scrambled to get off her. Katniss pulled on her shirt quickly and stood up as I put my boxers back on.

"_well the door WAS shut Haymitch and normal people KNOCK and what we do or do not do in private is our business"_ she retorted to him as she watched him make his way into the kitchen and sit down on the table. "_What do you want anyway that was so important you had to come barging in –our- house anyway?"_ She asked.

I was in the process of putting my leg back on but couldn't help feel my heart skip a little bit as she used the words our, I had no idea if she said it accidently or not but I wasn't the only one who noticed, _"-our- house sweetheart? Does that mean you've moved in here and didn't tell anyone?_" Haymitch asks with a sort of slightly tipsy smirk as I finally get up and make my way in to the kitchen, pants now on but I was not fastening my shirt. I was much to warm now.

Katniss just scowled at him, _"What do you want Haymitch? That was so important you have had to interrupt your drinking to come tell us"_ She asked, trying to hide her previous words.

Haymitch just looked between us and shook his head smirking _"Well it's about time whatever is happening... anyway yes. I was busy tending my geese not a bottle when the phone rang. Johanna was calling, she was trying your house Katniss but if you're leaving here sweetheart you should have told her so she didn't interrupt me since she doesn't have Peeta's number" _

Katniss was still blushing a little from her slip up, I did find it a bit odd that Johanna was ringing since she and Katniss normally write cause Katniss hates her phone. "_What did she want?"_ I ask nicely, wanting this to be done so I could talk to Katniss alone for a moment.

Haymitch stood up and looked at us, _"She was ringing to say she's booked a train ticket and will be here next week, she would write but she'd arrive before the letter..."_ he said simply which then made sense.

"_Oh okay._" Katniss managed with a small smile gracing her lips, she was looking forward to Johanna's visit. _"And she wants us all to have dinner when she's here. She told me tell you."_ Haymitch added in a bored voice. Both me and Katniss nodded _"But I shall leave you to whatever you were or were not doing and go back to my geese since there is no food on the go" _he added before leaving.

I smiled back at Katniss, _"Johanna in a week then. That'll be interesting" _I nodded, I was looking forward to seeing Johanna, we had a bond like me and Katniss, though different, we had, as she had once put it, heard each other scream. I was hoping she was doing as well as we seemed to be.

"_Yeah. I'm looking forward to seeing her"_ Katniss smiled before adding _"Sorry about that before... calling your home ours... slip of the tongue I guess." _She said, her tone of voice was different with those words, it sounded almost sad.

I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her and looked into her beautiful grey eyes, _"It is ours... if you want it to be." _I said simply. I didn't want to push my luck.

"_wait... what? Was that you asking me to move in?"_ she asked, her eyes glistening a little with what I construe to be hope. I kiss her once simply on the lips before nodding.

"Yes it was..._Katniss Everdeen... will you move in with me?" _I ask holding my breath, a little apprehensive.

But I don't need to worry, she throws her arms around my neck and kisses me like she did before smiling brighter at me than I had seen her smile in a long time

"_YES!" _she beams before kissing me again.

It was officially our home now.

Our home.


	15. Chapter 15: Moving day

**Okay so this is a little more angst-y that the other chapters but I am hoping you all still like it. I am so close to 100 reviews that I actually cannot believe the response I am getting to this story. I'd have seriously stopped by now if you guys didn't love it so much. **

**I am being nice and updating this earlier than normal as I am away for the weekend, I am going to London and to the Harry Potter Studio Tours *squee* I am starting to write Chapter 16 but I am out of pre-written chapters however I am still inspired and have an idea for future chapters. Anywayyyyyy w****ithout further ado, let the angst commence. This chapter is Katniss POV only.**  


**Reviews are love.**

Chapter 15:

Today was moving day, Peeta had asked me to move in with him a week ago and I had been a little lazy about moving over to his as I thought I'd have longer but somehow it turns out that Johanna is due to arrive in 2 days so Peeta had started to nag that I got my stuff together and moved into his because he wanted us "Settled" before Johanna arrived, which had followed with me pointing out that I practically lived with him anyway and I just needed to pack what things I had left and move over to his house with this, most of my clothes were over there already, I didn't have anything in the kitchen that he didn't already have, it was just other rooms that I had to venture into that were going to make today difficult.

Peeta had offered to help me but this was something that I knew I was going to have to do myself, I knew today I would be facing some demons I hadn't faced in a while and I would have to do this myself, I needed to come to terms with it, besides, he had things to do with the bakery now the outside construction was finally finished.

The first room, after my own, that I decided to tackle was my mother's old room, she had most of her belongs with her in District 4 where she was helping set up the big hospital that was under construction, she was going to be a chief nurse when it was open, they asked her to be a doctor but she had declined. She had updated me on everything in the last phone call we had over a week ago, we didn't speak often, it was easier for us both to pretend that things were okay, it also avoided awkward mentions of Prim which would usually just result in tears from either of us.

I pushed the door open to her room, I hadn't stepped foot in here since the day I was being prepped for the wedding dresses for my "pretend" wedding with Peeta, a shiver ran down my back causing me to shudder at the memory, though I love Peeta now, back then, the wedding was a confusion and an attempt to keep my family safe, I scoffed a little with sadness, I had done a bang up job protecting my family with that. Everything I touched seemed to burn and suffer, even lovely Peeta I am sure that he is probably suffering with me every day knowing that I don't want children, or I don't think I do anyway. I looked around the lightly decorated room, it was simple and elegant, much like my mother had been when she was younger, my mother had most of her important trinkets with her in District 12 so I didn't expect to find anything in my mother's room as I started to pack up old clothes, things I know she wouldn't need anymore. I found one or two of her herbal books that she would want to keep, or ones that would be beneficial for me and Peeta so they went into a box marked "Keep" where as everything else was going into boxes I had planned to give to refugees that were coming to District 12 or other districts unless it was actually rubbish then I was throwing it out.

It took me over an hour to sort through my mother's things, the rubbish, there was some dresses that were in her wardrobe from her merchant days, the days of when she would dress up for father. It had made me quite tearful and I couldn't bear to get rid of them so I put them in the keep box to ask mother if she wanted them, she had probably forgotten that they were there. I had also had to fight a small breakdown when I found a collection of my father's shirts, that had brought back memories of him wearing them when we were hunting or in days of being by the lake that he had taught me to swim in. I knew it was irrational to keep them but they were one of the last pieces of him that I had to hold onto, like my bow and his old hunting jacket, they were tangible memories of my father and I wasn't about to throw them away. I packed them away carefully and looked around the now bare room, it was very hollow looking around that empty room, it almost made me realise that my mother was gone that she would never be returning to District 12 like the rest of my family.

I picked the last box of keepsakes that would be coming to Peeta's with me and with a sigh I left the room and closed the door behind me, I was not looking forward to what was next, there was only one room left in the house and I didn't want to face it, it almost made me wish that I had let Peeta help me but this was the room that I had to face, it was the room that was going to test the strength that I had regained, I was hoping that it was going to give me some closure, Dr Aurelis had told me that it would be difficult but the idea of going in there and sorting through Prim's short life, it almost tore me apart.

I placed the box into the kitchen amongst the other two boxes that I had to take over with me in a while when I was finished. I heaved another sigh and made my way upstairs, I could feel the nerves starting to manifest in my stomach, as I walked up each step I felt sicker, what on earth was I going to fins in her room. What memories was it going to evoke and how on earth was I going to get through this, how was I going to throw out or give away pieces of my sister?

I paused outside of her room, my hand rested on her door handle, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and opened the door to her room. The warmth from her room hit me immediately, her room was at the back of the house looking out into the gardens and without even looking I knew that you would be able to see the Geese that Haymitch was raising out the back. Prim's room was not like mine, she had made an effort to make it like home for her, it was covered in pink paper, there were drawings on her desk, homework no doubt from school and it was tidier than my room had ever been. As I let my eyes roam around her room, that horrible sinking feeling that I will never see my sister hit me and almost caused me to run out of the room but I didn't. My resolve and Dr Aurelis' words rang through my brain "_you have to do it sooner or later, sorting through her things will help you come to terms and get closure and the peace that she would want you to have"_ it was like being in the room in the justice building all over again, I had to be strong for Prim, if there is a heaven she would be surely looking down on me, watching me doing this and I could not, I would not let my sister down again.

For an hour I worked my way through her things, through the work on her table, through the pictures of her that she had drawn, I knew she had taken some drawing lessons from Peeta and had tried to draw Lady her Goat, we never found Lady which deeply upset me, her stupid cat had come back I was hoping that Lady had been alright and I keep expecting to go into the forest one day and find her eating the plants and all healthy but like Prim she was probably gone forever. I had relived the day I got Lady for her when I saw the pictures, I relived telling Peeta about it and wondered to myself about the story, it was one of the first memories that cause Peeta to come back to me, they had showed him the clip of us in the games telling him the story, he had asked about the goat but it had given me a glimmer of hope that day, a glimmer of hope that he might come back to me. It was hard not to cry at this.

I packed her things between two boxes, there were a few items that I had found that I knew mother would appreciate, some memories that would mean more to her than they would me to keep and I felt like I would be a bad daughter if I kept them all to myself. Each item that I went through was almost like re-living that last moment, that last glimpse I had of my little sister, my innocent little sister before the packages exploded, before the fire engulfed my sister and she was taken from me. My fire, my fire that had caused the rebellion engulfed her and ended her life much too soon. I know it was literally "my fire" but I was pretty much always going to blame myself. Her death wasn't the only one.

I got to her clothes, there was no need to keep her dresses or her clothes so they all went into a box for the refugees and I was fine until I saw it.

I saw her reaping outfit and that was it.

With her shirt and skirt in my hands I had sunk to her bed and sat down as the tears started to roll down my face as I relived that day, relived her name being picked from the bowl after reassuring her that she had only one name in thousands, one name, the odds were entirely in her favour but it was not mean to be, I remembered watching her tucking her little duck tail in and screaming after her, volunteering and then everything after that came flying at me fast that the mutts had come at me during those first games.

I rewatched Rue die, relived killing Glimmer, the girl from 4, killing Marvel with my arrows, killing Cato, the berries, those god damn berries that caused all this trouble. The worst part is I can't even say I regret my actions, there was no way I was coming home without Peeta and he, I but now, sitting there crying as I remembered that my actions had caused this, it was then that I wished I had eaten the berries, wished that I had just swallowed those berries but then there would be no one to protect her, protect her from taking the tessare, to stop the repeaings like we did with the rebellion. I was stuck no matter which way I looked at it. If I had died, she might have gotten repeaed later but this way she was still gone…

It was like watching an awful, re-run of my life in front of my eyes, I sobbed into her shirt, I had been so close to getting through everything and not breaking down but this had just brought me back to the beginning where all of this started and I didn't know what to do. I needed to pull myself together, I didn't want Peeta to worry, I had no idea what the time was but I knew he would be home soon and would be expecting me, expecting the boxes to be there already but it was like I had become immobile.

I cried for her, cried for Rue, Finnick, Cinna, Portia and everyone who had died because of the rebellion, died for the "cause", died because of my actions all those months ago, it was hard to believe that it was over two years ago now that I had refused to kill Peeta, handed him those berries which would have killed him and me…

I continued to cry and didn't know how long I was sat therefore but a little while later I heard a voice from downstairs, Peeta. He had come looking for me and I was sat still a mess on Prim's bed crying into her now soaked reaping outfit. He must have heard my sobs into the shirt as he appeared a moment later, worry sketched all over his face, when he spotted me he made his way over to me as quickly as his leg would allow him "_Oh Katniss… it's okay…"_ He whispered as he pulled me into his arms and held me as I cried into his shirt now, he rubbed my back to comfort me as I cried.

I started to hiccup as I tried to pull myself together, I hated the idea of Peeta thinking I was weak and though he would never admit that he would think that of me I was still embarrassed that I hadn't been able to get through this, I had thought it was supposed to help. I looked up at him, my eyes finally dry but they were now red and puffy from my hour or so crying, _"S…sorry hic… I thought… hic… being silly" _ I hiccupped and mumbled at him. It was difficult and he just shook his head at me, _"Never apologise for this Katniss. It's your sister… I know how much she meant to you. I should have helped, you shouldn't have done this alone". _

I shook my head at him this time and wiped my face with the edge of Prim's shirt, a look of recognition ran across Peeta's face as he saw what I was wiping my face on. _"No… hic… I was okay til… hic… this… I just… everything hic… came back in one go… hic… too much… hic"_ I felt like a child explaining it all to him but he hugged me tighter and helped me up.

"_I've moved the other boxes over to our house. Come on. You're done here now so, let's go home. I've got dinner on, Squirrel stew and fresh buns. You need some rest Katniss and maybe a shower or bath to help you relax."_ Peeta said in a comforting but authoritive tone as he took the outfit from me and put it in the box to go to the refugees.

I followed him out of my house, it wasn't really much, I hadn't really liked it but the last few months it had been familiar and it was a reminder of those few months were Prim was happy and not starving but I knew I wouldn't miss this house, I knew that the memories there weren't enough, there were too many ghosts associated with that house, with Snow visiting, breaking my foot and bruising my pelvis, it even reminded me of Gale and I need to move on.

As I left the house, my hand in Peeta's letting him lead me to his house, our house, I knew that I was moving on, I was creating new memories, I would create new ones with Peeta, I would always miss my sister and everyone else but now I wasn't haunted my their deaths, I was hoping that by doing the memory book I had mentioned to Peeta, I could honour their deaths, remember them and remember the good times instead of being tormented, I doubted that I could totally forget or even forgive myself for causing their deaths but as I closed the door to my old house, to the past, closure was happening. I was letting myself move on, try to be happy with Peeta and with the pending visit from Johanna I wanted to talk to her about something that would make Peeta happy.

As I walked through the door to my new home, I felt hope again, I couldn't help smile to myself as I saw a little banner that Peeta had obviously painted, it was simply written in green, my favourite colour and read "Welcome Home Katniss" But it wasn't the words, it was the dandelions he had painted on them that caused me to hope.

It was going to be a long road, it was going to be difficult but this was progress, like Dr Aurelis had said, today I had made progress and was moving on with Peeta and for the first time I was looking to the future. Not dwelling in the past.

I was home.


End file.
